The Seven Days of Christmas
by Silent Searcher
Summary: Christmas is a time to rejoice and forgive - to celebrate and remember the joy of the world. This Christmas Joshua remembers these seasonal gifts and remembers what it is like to live. He just hopes he'll survive the torment that is Neku Sakuraba.
1. Day 1: Show me the snow

**Author's Note: Hey Guys, here is my Christmas present to you all. This will be a little series that highlights some of my favourite parts of winter/Christmas. It will mostly follow Joshua and his redemption after the Long Game. I probably won't get it all done by the New Year but I shall try my best.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything referenced in this story.**

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He rarely roamed amongst the people. He entered the RG even less frequently than that. However on that snowy morning, he couldn't resist. He just had to feel the chill on his face; hear the ice crunch under foot. He had loved the snow. Inevitably his fascination with it had been his undoing: snow chains had been made compulsory after the accident.

But as the sun streamed down, glistening on the pale cushion of snow, his breath clouding in front of him: he didn't care. His past life was so very long ago; irrelevant yet so crucial in making him who he was. He had learnt to turn a blind eye to previous events but still retain the wisdom and knowledge he had gained.

Although he had loved the winter in his old life, it had lost its appeal over the years. He had no idea where the sudden compulsion to immerse himself in such nostalgic pleasures came from. He took no pleasure in reminiscing; it pained him. His past was bitter and empty; wrought with pressure and pain. He clenched his fists; nails biting into his palms. The pain was familiar; a frequent companion. He was headed north; toward Cat Street – it was about time he clocked in with his Producer.

That was until he saw a flash of purple, a shard of ginger hair: Neku Sakuraba. Had he unconsciously sought him out? No surely not. But it could not be a coincidence for them to meet here. Hachiko was a place for reunions but this was one amalgamation he would rather miss.

He had not seen Neku since the Long Game. That had been three months ago. Seeing him in that moment - smiling and content with his band of friends – made him stop. He had no idea how Neku felt toward him: was he hated? He had every reason to be. Was he feared? He hoped not. Was he forgiven?

He doubted it. He digressed that this was an understatement: he knew it. Neku could never forgive him for his actions, and he would not ask the teen to. He was used to being loathed – used to being lost. His incapability to face the animosity of the ginger made him turn and begin to walk back to the sewers. He wanted to coop himself up – to hide from the blaring light that was Neku Sakuraba. The temporary peace he had found; gone. Robbed from him at the sight of the life he didn't have; the friend he couldn't have.

"Whoa there Josh, where're you going?"

He froze. Surely his mind wasn't so cruel as to imagine that. The foot traffic faded from his vision; the faceless crowds unimportant to him. A hand landed on his shoulder. Breath tickled his ear. He felt the heat of the body next to him.

"Nice to see you too, Josh."

He was there. He hadn't imagined him. His legs shook slightly; his hands trembled. His usual cocky façade discarded; his emotions too intense for him to hide like he usually did. He was scared; he was tense; he was hopeful.

He was gently turned around. He kept his head low; not wanting to see the disdain in the other's eyes.

"We were about to go grab some ramen; want to join us? It's my treat." It was if nothing had happened. As if he hadn't killed the other: twice. As if he hadn't betrayed him. He was still haunted by the tear stained face of Neku Sakuraba. The final game had killed him even though he was the one who had fired the shot. Neku lifted his chin so that their eyes met…

No hatred. No contempt. No mistrust.

He was smiling.

Neku Sakuraba was smiling at him. His throat was tight; his breathing was heavy; his heart thumped painfully. He couldn't contain it any longer.

He stepped forward; curling his arms around the other's neck. He buried himself in the other's embrace. Neku cocooned his arms around him. Tears slid down his frozen cheeks; landing on the ginger's purple scarf. He had been so lonely. The snow had lured him from the sewers; promising salvation. The sharp dagger of loneliness had lodged itself in his heart for so long; he felt he would be crushed under the pressure of it. The only sanctuary he had found in his after-life had been the ginger boy, but he had betrayed him. With that betrayal he sentenced himself to loneliness.

But he wasn't alone. A care free, teary laugh erupted from his chest: he wasn't alone. Here he was; in the arms of Neku Sakuraba – the one person he had ever risked his life for. He had hoped Neku would not shoot him but he could never have been certain; he could have died. Yet he proposed the duel anyway. Neku didn't shoot him. Neku cared for him. He wasn't alone.

"I missed you, you know?"

His heart couldn't take any more emotion. Normally he would either run away or push people away with his egocentric disguise. This time he relished in the feelings. He had been alone for too long.

He stepped back; untangling himself from the other. A genuine smile was cemented on his face. No more games; no more tricks; no more lies. He wanted to be Josh; not the Composer and not the pompous mask that was Joshua. No; he would be Josh: Neku's friend. He would not ruin his chance at happiness.

"I missed you too, Neku. Now, what was this about free ramen?" Neku rolled his eyes and turned toward Dogenzaka - Ken Doi's ramen calling to them.

They left Hachiko; as a group. Behind them was a statue, a past full of lies and a pit of loneliness. Ahead of them: friendship; joy and of course, free food.

"Hey, Neku."

"Yeah Josh?"

"Thank you."

"What for?"

"Showing me the snow."


	2. Day 2: Fireside Chat

**Author's Note: Merry late Christmas everyone! I had planned on uploading this earlier in the week but I was busy with holiday-related stuff. Very boring. Anyway, I decided to rethink the typical fire-side scene and make it a little less romantic: of course, what's Christmas without a little argument? The next few chapters are almost done so they should be up soon.**

**Disclaimer: you know I don't own TWEWY, I'm not _that_ fantabulous.**

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Orange, yellow flames licked and crackled in the darkness. The scent of fire danced in his nose; the musky scent familiar and homely. The warmth was a welcome refuge from the chilly midnight air of the café's back room. The sofa that Sanae had bought some time in the late 90's was frayed and worn but nonetheless comfortable. In his previous life, he had often liked to sit and watch the embers sizzle. Now - after the events of earlier that day – Joshua was content to recreate those peaceful times. It would have been perfect did he not feel so cramped; he had not left the sewers in a long time so the sudden openness of the streets had made the transaction between indoors and outdoors all-the-more noticeable.

His nightmares didn't help either.

"Josh, is that you?"

"Yeah it's me." Sanae plodded in, perching down next to the silverette. The pair had a rocky relationship at best; they were friends at first but business meant they often disagreed thus creating a void between them. That and Sanae had helped attempt to kill Joshua.

"You still not sleeping?" Though his nightmares had begun when he was still alive, the dreams had changed over the years. They still involved pain, suffering and hatred; death was also a recurring component. However recently the subject of his imaginings had shifted: no longer about his own mortality but that of another – tears shed for an undeserving soul, the echoes of betrayal in bright blue eyes, ragged breaths at the end of life.

He shook his head, not trusting his voice. His eyes were still trained on the flames in the hearth. Neither of them spoke, not knowing what to say. His eyes burned, his throat was raw, his chest felt empty.

The man sighed before standing, offering a small salute as he retreated upstairs to his room. Joshua was once more alone.

As he always had been.

As he always would be.

Joshua hated what he had become. He swore when he became Composer that it would not change him. It was one amongst the infinite number of vows and promises he had made in his prolonged life that he failed to fulfil. He was a monster. He was the epitome of all that was wrong with the universe. He was just plain horrendous. He deserved to die. He deserved to be hated. He deserved to feel the hurt he inflicted on others. He was ugly; inside and out. He lied to cover his insecurity. He tricked others so they didn't get near him – so they didn't hurt him when they left. He betrayed because he had been betrayed. It was all he knew. He had played the role of the evil Composer for so long that he didn't know how else to act. He didn't know who he was. He didn't know what to do. What he did know, was that he was scared. And unlike in any Fairy-tale; no hero would save him. No handsome Prince would swoop in to his aid. There would be no happily ever after. Not when he was the villain. He was the one who was to be banished, fought, and destroyed. He would forever be hated - not loved.

"Josh, are you alright?" The silverette jumped, hurriedly wiping the tears that meandered down his face. He had forgotten Neku had stayed at Wild Cat. The ginger padded up to the Composer like a loyal pup sensing distress in its owner. Not that Joshua owned Neku.

Joshua couldn't speak, the tears having clawed his throat raw; robbing him of words. The ginger sat down next to the other, his eyes curious. That curiosity and intrigue spelt disaster for Joshua; Neku was not one to leave a subject once his interest was piqued. The silverette kept his eyes on the flames, ignoring the other entirely.

The room was once more silent par for the crackling flames. However Neku would not stop fidgeting. His movement was fast becoming irritating. He could take no more of the ginger's jitteriness.

"What is the matter dear? Honestly it is as if you are robbed of the ability to sit still. If this is the case please leave me to my wallowing." Neku froze; he had not expected Joshua to react to him. He turned to face the silverette, expecting him to continue. Joshua did not. He had nothing more that he was willing to say.

"What's the matter? You can't just show up and then ignore me." His tether snapped – his pent up frustration streaming free.

"I am not ignoring you. And I did not just show up; I did not intentionally seek you out." This was not the answer the ginger wanted, and so the rebuttal began:  
"Then why are you here?" It was unclear where Neku meant by 'here': did he mean the café or Neku's life in general? Either way, the answer was the same.

"I don't know."

"What do you mean you 'don't know'? Surely you do, it was your decision; just as it was your decision to not destroy Shibuya." Joshua sighed; he knew this topic would be breached. His voice remained even, he refused to raise his voice since it achieved nothing but allow unwanted listeners into the conversation.

"I was wondering when you'd bring this up. And - as I told you - I don't know. I honestly don't know. I don't know why I decided to walk around Shibuya today; I just did. I don't know why I didn't destroy Shibuya; I just didn't. I don't know why you care; you just do. So, if you are here to interrogate me: don't bother, I don't know. If you are here to make me feel bad: don't bother, I already do." Neku snorted. He was too wrapped up in his own emotions to notice the forlorn look on Joshua's face – or perhaps it only spurred him on.

"Damn right, you should feel bad! You killed me - twice! Without even batting an eye! So you're saying you're not completely heartless." The ginger was shouting now. Normally Joshua would make a snarky comment on how people only shout if they couldn't properly iterate their point – he did not though. He couldn't. Instead he lowered his head and stared at his hands.  
"No I'm not."

This quietened Neku's anger; Joshua's desolate tone and vulnerable appearance finally getting through. "Of course, you're right: I deserve to feel terrible. I deserve to be alone: I deserve to feel the pain I caused you. I understand how you feel: you feel empty after having your trust broken, you feel pathetic for ever having trusted in the first place, and you feel as though you shall never let in another again. But all in all you feel confused; confused as to why this predicament ever occurred in the first place. Why did I have to kill you? What could you have done to avoid me killing you? Why did you ever think I was capable of emotion in the first place?" The ginger's brow was furrowed; confusion scrawled over his features.

"How do you – but…" Joshua shook his head. He couldn't listen to Neku anymore; his voice still carried the conviction and hatred it had previously.

"Don't ask questions you don't want the answer to." Neku crossed his arms. It seemed he too had had enough of the company.

"Alright I won't."

So the silence washed over the room again. By this time, even the fire had subdued slightly so the room was even more hushed. Shadows loomed in every corner; the darkness similar to the state of Joshua's mind. It may well have resembled Neku's perception of Joshua's heart as well. Joshua returned to his self-loathing. He had pondered the best way to personify himself and come up with only a few examples, the best one being a pen: he was a medium through which other people's genius is shown, in this case Shibuya's. He was only as good as Shibuya was, he could only achieve as much as Shibuya allowed. He was also replaceable when he failed to function. He had the feeling he wold soon be replaced; his usefulness having been subdued.

The quiet had become almost as painful as the arguing when the ginger spoke up once more: "How do you know how I feel?" Joshua slumped further; he hated repeating himself. He also hated the direction he knew the conversation was headed. "I told you…"

"I know what you told me; just answer me." Joshua hated being right – he had hoped this conversation could be avoided.

"I too have been in a similar predicament. Many people I have trusted in my life have stabbed me in the back; more than one time that statement occurred in the literal sense." He lifted his head, swivelling his torso to face Neku. The movement emphasized his words; his haggard appearance showed the torment coursing through his body. "The most recent incident involved the very man you idolise. Though I understand his reasoning, it does little to reduce the pain. The motives behind his actions are valid I hold no great grudge – though it still hurts to know the man I trusted and confided in for so long would kill me if need be." Joshua pulled his knees to his chest, the hollow feeling in his chest making him feel as though he would collapse in on himself at any point. Now it was the ginger's turn to become timid; he reclined into himself. The truth and honesty of Joshua's words hit him like a bullet: sharp, sudden, shocking.

"I didn't know."

"Of course you didn't; it was not your place to know. Matters concerning the UG are not your business. Besides, what would you have done? Swooped in and saved me?" The silverette chuckled menacingly; the irony amusing and all the more ridiculous to him. "I'd like to see you try." He shook his head, clearing it of distraction. He had a point he was trying to convey and he would be damned if he messed up because of some pathetic self-pity. "I have survived many centuries of assassination attempts; this one has no more consequence than the others. I have seen allies plot my destruction; seen friends leave, seen them die. I have seen the corruption and deceit build over so many decades – all the while I have been alone. So do not come here and start lecturing me about how much it hurts, because I have known more pain than you ever will." He hoped his message had gotten through; it would not do for Neku to feel isolated due to his experiences. Nor would it do for Neku to waltz around as though he had the toughest life in the universe: many people were worse off than he. "By now you have seen how cruel the world is: how it is kill or be killed. So why do you look at me with such disdain? As a player you erased noise so that you survived – you had no problem with that. Reapers try to erase Players to survive – again that is fine in your eyes. Yet you never considered maybe it was the same for me." Neku shifted uncomfortably. Joshua took that as confirmation of his words. "I have to contend with Players, Reapers even other Angels - trying to erase me. I constantly have to be on my guard; if I show the slightest hint of humanity it is exploited and I will be killed. It's a wonder I've lasted this long." The flames morphed before his eyes into scenes from distant past: his parents locking him in his room, his classmates laughing about him behind his back, angels condemning his actions and insulting his soul. The isolation was terrifying. The loneliness was intoxicating. The hurt was permeated his very being.

He removed his gaze from the hearth; looking back to the ginger.

"I really am sorry I caused you this pain Neku. But I cannot say I am sorry for killing you. At the time I saw it as necessary as I believed I had identified the true nature of Shibuya. Anyway, you seem to be better off after dying. You now live life better and have friends that you previously didn't have." Neku considered this before nodding in agreement.

"That's true." The teen seemed to mull over what Joshua had said; weighing up both his previous perspective and the Composer's additions. Joshua watched him intently – how his brow furrowed, his shoulders drooped and his fingers worried at the hem of his black night-shirt. "I'm sorry." The words were uttered so lightly that he almost missed them.

Yoshiya Kiryu had never been gifted those words before: he was always ignored, classed as collateral damage. No one had ever deemed him worthy of an apology before. No one had ever deemed him worthy of an explanation either. He would never forget those two whispered words. How could he ever do anything to harm the boy after being granted such a privilege? He smiled coyly.

"It's alright. We both have been ignorant." Neku chuckled dryly.

"Yeah, how about we restart; we just be friends and judge each other on our actions from here on out?" The ginger extended his hand. Joshua regarded him; the ginger's sincerity was true.

"I can live with that."


	3. Day 3: The Gift of Understanding

**Author's Note: Hey guys, Happy New Year! I'm so sorry this is taking me so long to do but I've got loads of homework I need to get done by Monday so I'm freaking out a little. Anyway I hope you all had a great holiday season and I hope you like the chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own TWEWY just as I still don't own a copy of Majora's Mask. Only a matter of time...**

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Joshua hated Christmas. He found the prospect of exchanging gifts, selfish and materialistic. The consumerist, commercial flamboyance was garish and ridiculous in his eyes. Santa was just a tale used to blackmail children. There was nothing special about this time of year; he couldn't see what all the fuss was about. People rushed about, spending money on gifts that would be exchanged or forgotten within a few weeks. Decorations embellished every inch of useful space, making it even more crowded than normal.

It was just all so ridiculous.

Yet here he was - in line at Towa Records – purchasing a gift. He probably wouldn't even give the gift but he thought it a necessary evil; his conscience heavy. He hadn't meant to reimburse himself in Neku's life: it had just sort of _happened_. Not that he was unhappy: far from it really. He was thankful to the other for giving him a second chance; not that he would ever tell him that. He had a reputation to uphold after all.

Joshua maintained his egocentric Composer attitude in public. He had to maintain a strong exterior to keep his position: Neku accepted this, so long as there were no lies and Joshua promised not to shoot him again. It was clear that Joshua would never be forgiven for his betrayals, regardless of Neku declaring them partners and friends. He had expected as such; how did you forgive someone for shooting you dead – twice? He was sure such a scenario had not occurred in history before. Neku had every right to hate Joshua.

Joshua had no plans on ever hurting Neku again.

Joshua left the store, beginning his trek to Wild Cat where he was staying for the holiday season. The Dead God's Pad was too sombre and lonely for the Composer to handle. The snow still persisted; the rejuvenated joy that accompanied it ensured a smile always played on the silverette's face. He really did owe a lot to his proxy. And if he was honest, he owed the rest of the group too.

Shiki opened Neku up to the ways of the world. Without her, he doubted that Neku and he would have conversed as much as they did. He wouldn't be where he was now.

Rhyme taught Neku loyalty and sacrifice; her selfless actions having left a lasting impression on the ginger. Without her, Neku may well have shot him in the Room of Reckoning.

Beat supported Neku; nurtured his new found confidence and pushed him to find his individuality. Without him, Neku would have probably become a recluse once more.

Neku's three friends; each the ginger's partners in rescuing himself from his anti-social nature and aiding him expand his world.

Joshua had made his appreciation known: Shibuya was saved, the group had been revived, Rhyme had been resurrected – regardless of her previous erasure and finally, he had kept himself away from the group. Or at least he had _tried_ to; Neku had abolished his final act of kindness. They didn't seem to see what he had done for them; they still saw him as the cold, heartless killer and Composer. Not that he could blame them.

"Yo Prissy, what you up to?" The silverette looked up from the pavement; meeting the gaze of Daisukenojo Bito. Out of the entire group, the elder Bito sibling held Joshua in the lowest regard. He hated the Game and everything it included - and who was responsible for the Game but Joshua. This made the blond hate him from the get-go. But add the double murder of his friend and betrayal of the aforementioned friend's trust and not even a mutual tolerance was possible. So then why was the teen being so civil toward the silverette – the scum of the universe in his eyes?

"Not much, just partaking in a leisurely stroll. _Why_ is that not allowed?" The blond frowned, raising his hands defensively.

"I didn't mean it like that, man. I was just wondering cos' you ain't never out and about." Joshua sighed, the boy was right. Rarely did he roam the streets but he couldn't bare go back to the sewers and recently he felt confined whilst staying indoors. The taller boy fell into step with the silverette, walking a safe distance from him but still close enough for it to be clear they were together.

"To what do I owe the pleasure? Are you getting jealous of the attention I give to Neku-kun?" The Bito jumped about six feet in the air; shocked and terrified by Joshua's flirtatiousness. The silverette giggled menacingly.

"Bwahh! What you talking about yo?" Joshua smirked at the nervousness his presence caused the blond. "Why you gotta be so creepy man? Just when I'm trying to be nice to you for Phones, you go and get all prissy." So that was his reason: he was doing it because he wanted Neku to be happy. The silverette observed the blond, reasoning that he could learn a thing or two from him. "Why can't you be nice yo? Why you gotta be the creepy old Composer? And don't say cos' tha's who you are, cos' that ain't true. Phones wouldn't be friends with you if you were such a dick. So come on man."

Joshua was slightly taken aback; was his façade clear to _everyone_ suddenly? The taller teen was more perceptive than he seemed. The silverette turned to him; they had stopped just at the start of Cat Street. He could just provide a fake and snide reply; but that would breach the promise he had made to Neku. No, once again he would have to bear his soul. He sighed, resigned to his situation.

"I am the way I am because I have to be. A Composer must be dignified and competent; my reputation is what maintains my position which keeps me alive. If _anyone_ were to see me as feeble or to find _any_ weakness at all, they would exploit that to gain the power bestowed on a Composer." Beat shrugged; he understood very well the motivation behind wanting to become Composer. He himself had wanted to be the head of the UG. However, Joshua highly doubted he would have lasted long; he didn't fully understand the duties the title entailed. Beat also didn't seem to realise the potential outcomes of Joshua being dethroned – par Joshua being erased. The current Composer decided he should enlighten the blond. "Losing my position would be negative for two primary reasons: first, as you well know, I would most likely _die_ – this is something I do not wish to occur any time soon. Secondly, the next Composer may not be as hospitable as I; meaning Shibuya's fate will be uncertain and likely to end in chaos. You asked why I keep up false pretences," He sighed, staring up at the sky, "I continue to be egotistical to keep you safe - were anyone to see me getting close to you or to find out you were important to me; you would _all_ be _killed_. You, Shiki, your sister, Neku: you would all become targets. You would be manipulated and mutilated in the hope of breaking me." Beat was speechless; he clearly had been blind to the truth. Joshua sighed, why did situations like this keep occurring? He truly hated justifying himself and his actions. By the amount he had explained over the last few days, one would think he was an open book. If this kept up his mystery would be completely eradicated.

An arm slung itself over the silverette's shoulders.

"Well, it's nice to know you on our side, yo. You ain't so much of a dick as I thought. But if you hurt Phones or any of us, I will kill you." The blond was serious as he glowered down at Joshua. It was rather amusing that the larger boy thought he could intimidate the Composer of Shibuya just because of his height and petty threats. Joshua didn't say so, just because he knew it would bite him in the behind later.

"That fact is duly noted, though I have no intentions on causing any harm to them."

"Good." They began walking down the street once more, this time looking more like friends than previously.

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"Hey Beat." Shiki and Rhyme were sat in one of the booths in Wild Cat. Shiki sipped on a cup of tea whilst Rhyme sat working on her homework. Shiki had made a point of not greeting the silverette. Contrary to his previous assumptions it seemed to be _Shiki_ who had the lowest opinion of him. Even Beat had been more companionable. Beat slid in next to his sister, peering over at her work: it was poetry.

"Hi Joshua, I'm sorry about Shiki." Rhyme looked ruefully up at the Composer. The younger Bito was a peculiar case: she did not seem to hold any grudge nor any bear any resentment for the silverette. Joshua sat on a stool at the counter which was opposite the group; he daren't get any closer. Mr H was rummaging in the store room – Joshua could hear the man muttering to himself. The silverette wished he'd hurry, Shiki's glares were about to cremate him. Beat and his sister were ignoring the other two people in attendance; Rhyme explaining the purpose of iambic pentameter. The concept was rather basic in theory – the name being the most difficult thing about it – but Beat seemed to struggle in grasping it. Rhyme remained patient, never once seeming annoyed by her brother's slow understanding. For such a young girl, her wisdom was outstanding. It was if she were triple her age.

"What are you planning? What do you want?" The silverette shifted his gaze onto the dark haired girl. She shifted her glasses up the bridge of her nose; loathing searing from her.

"Yo Shiki, Prissy ain't so bad." Shiki's eyes snapped to the blond boy.

"He's gotten to you too! 'Not so bad' – what do you mean by that? He's pompous, he's condescending. He's the most selfish person in existence. He's always looking after himself and no one else. He's going to _hurt_ Neku." Joshua hung his head, she was right. He was utterly repugnant. She was right to hate him. He glanced over at Beat, who seemed so sure of what he was saying; he truly believed in his view.

"You don't know that. And I'm not saying he's a saint or whatever but you should let up on him." Shiki scoffed. She glowered at Joshua, the true extent of her hatred clear in the flames in her eyes.  
"Why should I? In case you've forgotten he killed Neku – twice! Can you seriously tell me, that what he did is alright with you?" Beat scratched his head for a moment: she had him there. She was right, his actions were inexcusable. Joshua gripped his trousers, the fabric creasing in his iron grip.

"Yeah well, no it ain't alright. But can you say it's alright that Phones wants to be his friend, and yet you're insulting Prissy behind his back? What I mean is: if Phones wants him around then you don't have a reason to dislike him. He's in the same shit we were, he's gotta kill or _he'll_ be killed, man."

"Oh is that what he told you?" Shiki stood leaning over the table in an attempt of intimidating Beat into submission. Her move failed – dramatically. Beat jumped up and leaned into her, a few inches separating them.

"Yes it is, and he sure as hell made a better case for himself than you have. He's not the one disagreeing and threatening my friends; _you_ are." Shiki backed off, her face now held confusion.

"How am I…?" Beat chuckled, cutting her off.

"You start badmouthing Phones' friends he's gonna lose trust in all of us. Then he'll retort into what he was before." Rhyme quietly cleared her throat, politely gaining the attention of her brother.

"I think the word you're looking for is _revert_ Beat, not retort." The elder Bito smiled down at his sister. He nodded his thanks before turning back to Shiki.

"Right revert. If Phones wants him around then he isn't evil. If Rhyme likes him then he isn't lying. And if he ain't lying then he's protecting us." Shiki laughed menacingly. The way Beat worded it, Joshua sounded like a gallant hero. He wasn't. He was the devil: a conniving menace that needed to be eradicated.

"How the hell did you come to _that_ conclusion?" Beat raised an eyebrow; he had thought Shiki – who was much smarter than he – would grasp the implications of Joshua's predicament. After all he had.

"He's the Composer, loads of folks are gonna be wanting to kill him. If he acts like a prick then it looks like we don't mean anything to him; then we ain't targets for those guys who want his job." It shocked Joshua how much Beat had took in from his explanation earlier. He had assumed the blond had grasped little; apparently he was wrong. It felt bizarre to the silverette, for another to be standing up for him. Normally he was the one being chastised and put in his place.

"I don't see what that has to do with Neku becoming anti-social again."

"If any of us get hurt he'll blame himself then he'll turn emo again." Joshua had not thought of that. He had only considered that Neku would get mad if any of his friends were hurt. The elder Bito was one step ahead of the Composer _himself_ – this was getting rather unnerving.

"Look Shiki, I don't think much of him either; but I'm willing to give him a chance. You're nicer than me, so you should give him a chance too." Shiki stopped and considered Beat's cumulating argument.

"Alright Beat, you win." She digressed, the fight seeping from her. She sat down again. Beat too retook his seat.

"Well, Joshua. Looks like you've got yourself three more friends."

"Not yet, but I appreciate the sentiment."


	4. Day 4: As Pure as Snow

**Author's Note: Hey Guys! I know I haven't updated anything in ages; Operation: AkuRoku having not been added to since about October...anyway, I am trying but I have tons of work since I have exams coming up. So bear with me. Here's day 4, it's been done for a while but I didn't like how it ends. I'll probably edit it in the future. I love how this is a Christmas story but I'm posting it during the year, just shows how useless I am.**

**Natsuno Circus: I'm glad you like it, thanks taking the time to review. I appreciate it. :)**

**And by the way, yes this is a romance. I need some love right now so I'm blessing my favourite boys with some fluffy romance!**

**Disclaimer: you know the deal by now, I don't own anything.**

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"Hurry up slow poke!" Beat rushed ahead; him footing sure and secure. Rhyme rode atop her brother's shoulders; not because she was clumsy but because Beat had insisted. Shiki attempted to keep pace but her footing was sloppy and haphazard; it was surprising she hadn't already fallen over. Neku walked hurriedly behind Shiki; he had the sense not to run. This may not have been so much because of Neku's sensibility but because of Joshua's stubbornness. The ginger teen was dragging the other by the wrist in an effort to speed him up; his efforts were thus far futile. The silverette knew the results of being reckless in the hazardous conditions accompanying snow. He didn't want to recreate previous events.

They were headed to Miyashita Park; the Bito siblings insisted on enjoying the snow. Not that the others had wanted to do anything else but enjoy the weather.

They made it to their destination without any incidents. The park was covered with powdery white snow; perfect for classic wintery shenanigans.

"Hey, Neku." The ginger turned to the silverette.

"Yeah, Josh?" He forced his smile away and swallowed his laugh. The moment would be more hilarious if he kept a straight face. He stepped up to the ginger; placing his hand on the other's shoulder.

"Do you wanna build a snowman?" The other teens erupted into a chorus of laughter; Josh on the other hand maintained his composure. Neku simply shook his head, offering a small chuckle. He took that as a yes. They began the innate steps to make the wintery sculpture. The Bito siblings were in charge of the body; their teamwork meaning it took half the time anyone else would. Shiki searched for anything that would make adequate features and arms; their urban location not helping her in the least. Joshua and Neku were given the task of crafting the appropriate head for the snowman. They began traditionally: rolling a ball of snow along until it reached sufficient size. Neku then commandeered the more-cuboid-than-sphere mass of snow; perching it on a nearby bench. He produced a pencil from his pocket. The silverette was bemused as to its purpose.

"It's sort of a make-shift carving tool; we want him to look good don't we?" Joshua chuckled: trust Neku to think things through. The pair crouched, facing the snow 'ball'.

"So, what will this charming person look like? A tribute to Miss Misaki maybe; I'm sure she'd love for you to carve her likeness." Neku pushed his shoulder, causing him to fall in the snow. He was now cold and very, very wet. He pouted at the ginger boy who simply laughed at his discomfort.

"That's what you get Josh. Besides, you know I don't like Shiki that way." Did he know that? He was under the impression the pair of them were romantically involved; the again he had been wrong before and the heart was not really his area of expertise. However when faced with a good puzzle…

Neku, seemingly having come to a conclusion for the appearance of the snow, started chiselling channels along the top of the snow.

"So? Who is it based on?" Neku sighed, turning to him. His eyebrows were raised. Joshua smiled innocently at him. With a roll of his eyes, Neku took him in; his eyes flickering over Joshua's face.

"Who said it was based on anyone?" Neku turned back to his work, a new wave of inspiration having hit him.

"I did; because I know you never create anything spontaneously: you feel you create better when inspired by something or in this case someone." The ginger teen ignored him. Joshua wasn't annoyed by this; in fact he wasn't even surprised: Neku seemed to always zone out when he was concentrating, especially on anything artistic.

The silverette crouched near the other, observing his handiwork. The emerging face looked familiar but it was still too vague to identify - long scraggly hair framed a petite face with a rounded nose. How Neku managed to carve the intricate details without causing the snow to sever and fall, was astounding.

The Bitos strolled over to the pair, settling next to them. Rhyme giggled softly. Her brother and Joshua turned to her with quizzical expressions. An explanation was whispered into her brother's ear but Joshua was offered no reasoning. Beat's reaction did little to stunt his curiosity neither: he choked before falling promptly onto his behind. Whatever it was seemed so terrible that the elder Bito was incapable of speech and could do nothing but gape – his gaze shifting from Neku to Joshua then to his sister.

"What's the matter with Beat?" Shiki joined them; pebbles in hand. The girls whispered together before Shiki peered over Neku's shoulder, nodding in some unknown agreement. Amongst the silverette's confusion, Neku had finished carving and had manoeuvred the head onto the body a few paces away.

He set to work refining the body-shape; the others obscuring Joshua's view. Whether this was on purpose or not was not clear to the silverette but nevertheless it was infuriating. He wanted to observe his once-proxy at work, as it was rare for him to work with an audience. But the ginger's friends were denying him his simple pleasure.

"No way Mister; not until he's finished." The youngest Bito tugged him a few feet away from the rest of the group.

"But why? Why can't I watch?" Rhyme started giggling. She had latched onto his elbow, leading him toward a large bank of snow.

"For two reasons: first, you're interfering with Neku's concentration and secondly, you are going to help me make some ammo." Joshua frowned; he wasn't being that distracting. Was he? Besides, what did she mean by 'ammo'? "We are going to craft some ammunition for a little war we will be having in a moment. I always make a stock early and bombard my brother from the get go." The silverette chuckled at this; he never imagined the young girl to be so violent. They set to work moulding the snow into balls. The work was repetitive and cold. Joshua's fingers trembled. His nose ran from the chilly air. His toes curled in his boots, trying to conserve some warmth.

"So Joshua, how long have you loved Neku?" The silverette dropped the snow in his hands; he whipped around to stare at the girl next to him. His cheeks burned. He tried to speak but could not conjure anything but a stuttering mess. She laughed at his discomfort.

"I do not love Neku." She shrugged; the action said 'if you say so'. "I do not love him."

"I'm not buying it but if you really don't want to admit it…" Joshua pointed in her face.

"Now see here, I feel nothing but admiration for Neku. There is nothing romantic about my feelings for him." Rhyme put her hands on her hips and leered at him.

"Then why couldn't you kill him?" The silverette had no answer to that. He blinked; stunned. She had a fair point. Rhyme smugly folded her arms across her chest.

"Because he had changed, he showed me that Shibuya could change." This was the reason he forced himself to believe. It was the story he had stuck with, even though his heart knew it wasn't the real reasoning behind his actions.

"Didn't mean you had to return him to life; if you say 'his soul was worthy' I am going to die of laughter right here – no pun intended - and then Beat will kick your butt." The pair laughed for a moment; considering the image. The scenario was rather hilarious given the circumstances.

"Kick my butt huh?" Rhyme nodded assertively.

"Yep." Joshua shook his head. He pulled a pair of black woollen gloves from his pocket. Pulling them on, he succumbed to the young girl's omnipotence.

"Alright, I digress. I may have a tiny crush on him but you can't blame me. He's the first person to actually care about me; anyone else would have killed me but he didn't. Anyone else would hate me; but he has accepted me once more. Anyone else would tell me to take a hike thanks to my egotistical façade but Neku – well he does, but he understands why I lie so much." Once they had a considerable stash they also dug a small bunker that they would pummel the others from.

"I don't see anything wrong with it, Joshua. I rather like you in fact, apart from the whole killing Neku thing of course. I digress, the fact that you like Neku and that Neku has reintegrated you into his life, is why Shiki is so hostile toward you." Joshua stopped – that couldn't be right. Rhyme must be confused.

"Wait, are you saying that…" Rhyme nodded once more, a smirk played on her features. It was clear she was trying to be comforting but the glee of catching the Composer unawares was all too thrilling.

"She's jealous." A lot of things made sense with this new information: why Shiki had been so angry, why she had acted so out of character, why she was so hung up on Neku.

She loved Neku.

And Joshua was in the way of her target. A wave of guilt and sadness washed over the silverette: he hadn't let himself admit it but he was in love with Neku. But Shiki was what was best for Neku. She was who he was supposed to be with. Joshua kept creating distance between them with his presence. He shouldn't be there. It was wrong for him to be there. He wished that it was he who was meant to love the ginger boy. But everyone knows: wishes don't come true. His heart felt as if it were being crushed from inside his chest. A throbbing sting emanated from within. Emptiness - previously held back by hope - consumed him once more. For the first time in many decades; he felt dead.

It hurt.

"I have to go." Once more, Joshua fled – the pain too much to take.

He would rather be alone than deny Neku what he was meant to have. Shiki was right: he was selfish to have come back. He trudged through the snow, heading away from the group. He didn't have a destination in mind; he just had to get away. He would only ruin Neku's life were he to stay. He didn't deserve to know Neku.

Neku had his friends. He didn't deserve friendship.

Shiki loved Neku. He didn't deserve to be loved.

He deserved to be alone. He deserved to be hurt. He deserved to die.

"Joshua, don't go."

He had to – oh how he wished he could stay. He longed to be friends with the ginger – he dreamed he could love the teen. But he couldn't. Neku deserved so much more than the Composer of Shibuya. He stuffed his hands in his pockets to stop them from shaking. He hung his head to hide his tears. His strides increased in length; he wouldn't run. No he wouldn't give himself the satisfaction of running. He would suffer so that he would never contemplate reaching for something that wasn't his again.

That was until he heard it – the scream.

Joshua whirled around. He spotted a pair of children roll off of a sled. The toboggan continued charging on; out of control. In the path of the sledge was a stationary, oblivious, bereaved Neku Sakuraba.

He leapt. Joshua landed on Neku. He pushed Neku away with the momentum of his jump. Thwack.

The sled hit him square in the back. The impact knocked him forward. Pain seared through him as he continued to fall. The ground rose up to meet him. He smashed into the icy ground; head first. Cold consumed him. The melting snow dampened his clothes. His back resonated with sharp pain. He couldn't move. His nose ached; it was most likely severely bruised. His chest was tight; he couldn't breathe. His eyelids were heavy. Fingers twitched uneasily; shock coursed through the muscles making them spasm.

Warm hands tenderly rolled him onto his back. He groaned when the cold clawed his back. His vision was impaired thanks to the snow in his eyes.

"Joshua, oh my god, are you alright?" Joshua laughed, another wave of pain erupting with the movement.

"Of all the questions one could ask, dear; you ask that one." His breaths were strained; his body limp. The sky was a monotonous grey in the sky. Subdued clouds wafted along. Overall it was a rather boring view for the silverette. The cold had all but trapped him now; his limbs had forgotten what it felt like to be warm. That was until he felt a burning hand entwine with his own.

"Why Josh?" It seemed Neku enjoyed being ambiguous - yet again it was unclear what he meant. If he meant why he had jumped on the ginger then it was because Joshua had no time to consider his actions. He could not shout; Neku would not react in time. So instead he had acted the way he saw fit. However if Neku meant why he was leaving then unfortunately he would not get an answer. Joshua would never tell a soul. So instead he laughed. He laughed a very quiet, sombre laugh that wasn't really a laugh at all, more a choked breath. "Thank you." Joshua closed his eyes, he was so tired. He was tired of lying on the floor. He was tired of being Composer of Shibuya. He was generally tired, fatigue nipping at his eyelids.

"Glad I could help." Neku's breath puffed out in clouds as he laughed.

"Anything I can do to repay you for saving my life?" As preposterous as the statement was, Joshua couldn't help but feel warmed by the boy's consideration.

"Oh I can think of two things I'd like; first I'd rather like to see your masterpiece." Neku rolled his eyes but slowly helped Joshua to his feet, supporting his head and back when needed. He hoisted the silverette's arm over his shoulder, helping him hobble over to the snow man. "Where are the others?"

"Oh, they had to – sort some things out." Neku's hesitation gave away the real reason for their disappearance. Shiki had obviously thrown a fit after Neku had run after Joshua. Beat and Rhyme had taken her and vacated the area to prevent further conflict. Neku knew Joshua didn't buy his lie. Joshua felt terrible; he was coming between Neku and his friends. "I can see you blaming yourself, don't you dare. Shiki's ignorance is not your fault." Joshua looked down at his snow covered shoes.

"I'm sorry." They stopped. Neku lifted the silverette's chin, ushering him to look into his eyes - the same deep blue eyes that always entranced Joshua. They sparkled in the light refracted by the snow. The Composer was utterly enthralled.

"You have nothing to be sorry for." He stroked the other's cheek softly, a smile gracing his face. He turned Joshua around, where he was face-to-face with the snow deity.

Now I say deity, because staring back in the Composer's eyes was…the Composer's eyes.

Neku had crafted his likeness in snow. The hair was meticulously chiselled, each hair in place – rather like the silverette's normal visage. The features were soft and smooth. The nose was a faultless curve; the mouth frozen in a gentle, genuine smile. His neck was tall, even his collar bone had been crafted. His chilly doppelganger was clad in the clothes he wore over Neku's time in the game. The shirt had been accurately moulded; the creases the original sported were all embossed into the snow. His lanky arms were folded across his chest. In his dainty left hand was an exact replica of his phone. His long legs stood above his perfectly scuffed trainers. It was chilling how realistic the snow-Joshua was. Neku had heeded every detail.

"I don't know what to say. It's amazing." Neku was humbled, turning bashful. His face turned red thanks to his blushing.

"Thanks, I thought I might try to make a snow-angel. It doesn't really do any justice though; I couldn't capture most of your grace. Plus I could never recreate your most striking feature." Joshua tilted his head in confusion. Neku sighed, pointing to the doppelganger's face. "Your eyes – they don't look like your real ones. Yours are much more…I can't find a better word than angelic. Striking, is probably less of a pun." The doppelganger's eyes were curved, wide and full of wonder. The dim light caught them, making them shine. "Plus they look duller without the colour."

"You flirt, no wonder Miss Misaki is infatuated with you." Neku sighed. He clearly didn't reciprocate the girl's feelings. In fact he seemed to retreat into himself at the mere mention of her.

"She has the wrong idea, I don't think of her like that. Yet she's so possessive as if I were her boyfriend. I don't love her." Joshua hated himself for feeling joyous as the ginger uttered those words. He turned to the other, seeing him in distress.

"The way you speak is as if you love someone else." He pushed his shoulders back in an attempt to decrease the strain on his back, it still hurt like hell. He shifted in the hopes of finding a position where the pain would ease.

"Maybe I do. Anyway, what was the second thing you wanted?" Neku clearly wanted to change the subject. Joshua allowed him to redirect the topic. He himself felt a little nauseous when talking about matters of the heart. Plus he really wanted to get out of the cold and have a good sit down.

"I thought you'd never ask. I'd like a warm beverage, dear." Neku bristled at the hoped-forgotten nickname. Joshua beamed at the ginger; a childish grin on his face. Neku shook his head in amazement.

"Hot chocolate alright?" They hobbled away toward Cat Street; Neku supporting Joshua once more.

"Will there be marshmallows?" The ginger looked at the other in disbelief. The silverette was so childish underneath his cocky exterior. He chuckled as he replied:

"Sure, how many do you want?" Joshua contemplated for a moment before holding up the appropriate number of fingers on his free hand.

"Four please." Neku had never heard the word 'please' leave the silverette's mouth. He blinked; stunned. They headed back to Wild Cat, in pursuit of hot chocolate.

Meanwhile, a drop of water slipped down a snow-angel's frosty face. Things were getting better; the Composer was learning to let others in once more. However his guilt would have to be addressed, what better time than Christmas.


	5. Day 5: Tree of Troubles

**Author's Note: Hey, Guys. I'm not going to start spouting excuses as to why this took me so long but I _am_ sorry. I have no internet at home right now so I'm posting in college - yes, I'm in _college_ now. So, I should have the next one up on Monday. Parts of this chapter were originally written for a Gai x Kakashi story I started _ages_ ago, so they might be a bit OOC. It's that time of year again; the time of year that makes me think of my two favourite teenagers. That's Josh and Neku by the way, although I do love many other teens. I'm prattling again. Anyway, I tried my best and enjoyed writing this. I hope you like it too.**

**Disclaimer: Do you really think I'd be this unreliable with my updates if I did own TWEWY? Exactly.**

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Christmas was fast approaching; with all of the necessary gifts bought and wrapped, Joshua thought he could sit back and wait for the season to end. He was wrong. Begrudgingly, he leant to pick up yet another string of spiky, spindly, horribly itchy tinsel. That's right; he was being forced to endure the horror that was the Christmas tree. Shiki had bugged Sanae into changing the music to a playlist of obnoxious Christmas tunes – which neither Joshua or the barista had been pleased about. Contrary to them, Neku appeared to be having a great time. It turned out that he had never decorated a Christmas tree before, or had one at all for that matter. Being alone on Christmas meant the ginger was often too depressed to attempt any merriment; Joshua vowed that this year would be different. That is why the tree they were fussing over was an artificial monstrosity the silverette had bought on a whim a few decades previous. It was about ten feet tall; the height needed since it was originally for the Dead God's Pad. Still bright green in colour due to its scarce use, Joshua had taken it upon himself – and Sanae – to put up the tree so that the when the other's arrived they could instantly get stuck in to flinging baubles and lights at the thing. Tension still hung heavy in the air between Shiki and Joshua. He was sure that they would never get on, but they were being civil due to a mutual want to be near Neku. The silverette had allowed himself a chuckle at how much of a pain the ginger was fast becoming.

They decided to take a break, not wanting to rush such an important part of the holiday – or so he was told. Shiki sat at the far side of the sofa, practically strewn all over Neku. Beat was chatting in hushed tones with his little sister across the room, the occasional glances he gave to the dark haired girl not going unnoticed by the silverette. Neku looked pretty content, although he paid little attention to Shiki, instead relishing in the notes wafting through the air. The rise and fall of the melody filed Joshua's heart with friendly warmth that lulled his eyes shut and tempted his frame into relaxation. Easing open his eyes, he noticed Beat stand. Nervousness permeated from the blond as he extended his hand toward the seated female. Taken aback, Shiki abashedly took up his offer; rising to her feet. Joshua's eyes loitered on them as they twirled around the space. They floated along together as if lost in their own soft, tender, sugary sweet dreamland. Thorns of loneliness twinned through his chest; muscles in his face tensing to grimace or smile, which one he did not know. Subtle nudges to his shoulder made him break his focus. Neku's hand was outstretched; a wordless offer that his mind wanted to refuse but knew he could not - because his heart had already accepted.

"Oh, finally making your move. Hoping to sweep me off my feet, are you?" Blue eyes rolled in reply as they stood. Palms moulded together as the silverette slipped a hand onto Neku's shoulder. A hand placed itself conservatively on his back, holding him close. Stepping in unspoken succession, they wound around the room. Rising, falling – turning, twirling – stepping, sliding. Their movements matched - minds in perfect synch. As the music began to build, a smile lingered on his lips. All that existed was the two of them. All he saw was a pair of deep blue eyes that pierced his soul then pieced him back together in a way that made him feel so safe and secure that he almost felt giddy. Malicious smile in place, Neku shifted his arms so that one rested behind the silverette's shoulders and the other below his knees. He lifted the other into the air, hugging him close to his chest. Joshua's eyes were wide, his face on fire. He threw his arms around Neku's neck, eliciting a chuckle from the other. Running his fingers through the surprisingly fluffy ginger hair, he let himself wonder the stream of cruel generosity that had lead him to meet Neku.

"See something you like, Josh?" Oh, how those eyes shone with the light of the living; so beautiful and expressive. He could feel himself being sucked in to their embrace. A slight stumble told him that they were still spinning, their momentum all the more dramatic with only one pair of feet on the ground.

"Very much so, dear." It was an understatement of grand proportions but it wasn't a lie – which is what mattered. He let his head fall against the other's collar bone, fitting snuggly against Neku as if they were made as two pieces of one whole. How tantalizing that prospect was. Their breathing fell into a shared rhythm, finishing the world made of only them. Giggles erupted on the other side of the room, making both of them startle. Neku lost his footing, slipping back. Gravity took hold and they plummeted. Arms shot from their resting places. A stroke of luck placed them beside the sofa, the soft cushions intercepting their impact. Joshua hit Neku's chest with a groan, bruises being jogged by the fall. As they fell, the ginger's arms had wound around him, keeping him safe from objects gone awry. He clutched the teen's shirt as realisation set in. All eyes were on them; gazes judging, understanding, encouraging. Beneath him, Neku's chest reverberated with the laughs that escaped him. Soon the whole room was laughing too, unable to resist the pull of the ginger teen's glee. As he laughed, Joshua felt a soft blanket of acceptance swaddle him. The ginger pulled him closer, nuzzling his head into the silvery mop.

"Come on, you two. We don't want to see any lovey-dovey stuff. It's Christmas, isn't that bad enough?" Joshua flicked his hand at Sanae flippantly; he was comfortable and wouldn't move if he could help it. But then his eyes happened to meet Shiki's; hatred and hurt spanned the distance between them. He could almost feel the pressure building inside the girl and he felt terrible for causing that. She ran to the rear of the café, tears threatening to fall. No one went to pursue her, their reasoning individual and complicated. Joshua wouldn't allow it. Stepping into the back, he could see her hunched over form wracked with sobs. Tentatively, he made his way closer.

"Go away."

"No." He stood just inside the door way, not daring another step.

"Why, you have what you want. You have everything." Shock spurred his legs forward. He sat down on the sofa, furthest away from the sobbing girl.

"Oh my, believe me – I do not have everything." His giggle cut off, eyes downcast, hands wrung together, his voice echoed a hollow pain. "What is it you see when looking into my eyes? Is it sadistic joy? Is it callous determination? I doubt you see the pain whenever I hurt those I hold dear. I doubt you see my shoulders stoop as I feel the world pressing down on me." He chuckled humourlessly. "Then again, you never see what you don't want to. I am content in your eyes. I am constant and condescending to you, since you know no different." She shifted, shoulders jumping from the dry cackle leaking from her parted lips.

"I'm not going to feel sorry for you." A small smile grew on his face; rueful and regretful.

"Good, I do not want you to. Hold on to that hatred, knock me back whenever you see fit. I deserve it." She seemed taken aback by his response, though she swiftly hid it. Pushing her glasses up her nose, she dabbed at her eyes – sadness seemingly replaced by anger.

"Why would he choose you?" He scoffed, he hadn't been chosen. He was never even an option. He was abhorrent. He was a stain on the universe.

"He hasn't chosen me; no one will ever choose me." Startling Joshua, Shiki turned to stare him straight in the face. Her eyes were resigned and clear.

"You really are blind." She sighed, shrugging her shoulder dismissively. "I know when I'm beat, his heart belongs to you. It always has. I don't hate you, Joshua. I just have a hard time trusting you after, you know." A choke of laughter escaped as she plucked her glasses from her face and wiped the lenses. "Plus, I guess I'm jealous. You got Neku after all." He shuffled uncomfortably; this was all wrong. Shiki was meant to be with Neku. He, himself, was insignificant and unnecessary. He was all that was wrong in Neku's life and needed to be purged.

"I'm not sure I agree with you but I'm glad things aren't as dire as I assumed. I'll try my upmost to redeem myself, even though it is impossible to do so. I'll do my best to win your trust." She nodded as she replaced the frames on their perch.

"Give me some time to get over losing Neku to you and I'm sure I'll be more hospitable." Joshua bowed his head, if only to hide his eyes from hers.

"Thank you." He went to leave, needing to escape the suddenly claustrophobic room.

"And, Joshua: thanks for coming out here, it took guts." Turning to catch her eye once more, he giggled - the sound a sharp reminder of the mask that had been discarded a lot easier than he had thought possible. His eyes were grave, hollow and omnipotent.

"No one should cry alone, it is truly the most callous of condemnations." An almighty sigh flowed through him, allowing some of the weighty restlessness to escape him. "You should go back out there, I'm sure Daisukenojo is beside himself worrying about you." He grinned as he left, hearing her stutter as he stepped through the doorway.

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A few hours later, the tree was dressed in many shades of red, gold and silver; the lights twinkled like stars in the dimness of the dying day. They sat on the ground at the foot of the tree, watching the masterpiece they had created together. Sanae was rummaging in the back room, attempting to get the box the tree had come out of into a cupboard. Occasional swears drifted in from the man, making the teens laugh and Beat cover Rhyme's ears. After a time, the noises stopped.

"Hey, Boss. What do you want me to do with this?" He turned his gaze to the barista in the doorway. In his grasp was something Joshua had long forgotten, had barred in the back of his mind and banished from thought. Dangling on a silver ribbon was a fairy. Clad in a dainty pink tutu and winding ballet pumps, with wings of shimmer dusted ivory, she was a brunette beauty. A fresh wave of pain crashed through him. How did that still exist? Where did Sanae find it? Surely he knew what it was? Glancing into the man's eyes alluded that he had no idea what he held nor the effect it was currently having on the boy before him.

"She's gorgeous." Attention was solely placed on the pirouetting porcelain figure; making the unease bubble inside of his mind and flicker behind his eyes.

"That's nice, man." Their words echoed meaninglessly – panic rising steadily, threatening to spill free.

"What are you doing with something like that?" Company of others only stoked the now raging flames, kindling them into a burning inferno of manic terror.

"Josh, you okay?" He wouldn't run. He couldn't run. Not again. But he couldn't let them see him break. He couldn't break down in case he hurt them. He'd hurt too many already.

"Excuse me." Rising slowly, he made his way out into the street. Stepping into a nearby alley, he faltered. He pounded his fists against the wall. His heart pulsated in his ears. He pummelled the wall with every loathsome breath. Searing strain spanned his arms but never did he relent in his brutal assault - as if stopping would cause him to become complacent once more. Warm liquid seeped through the ripped flesh of his knuckles, staining the abused concrete a morbid crimson.

"Josh, stop." Breathing haggard, lips quivering; he slumped forward so that he supported himself on the freezing structure. Sorrow stung spitefully at his eyes, taunting him with the threat of tears, mocking him for thinking the salty release would ease his agony. Dull throbbing emanated from the cursed appendages that had caused such pain to many a being. Rouge ichor pooled at his feet, a reservoir of repent. He was used to bleeding; blood was the only thing he could draw from himself to appease the anguish inside. The sight of the tepid stream made him choke. How easy it would be to let the life flow from him - to let the essence just spill from him till he was empty. He could almost feel the eyes on him; yet he voiced not one syllable of his turmoil, his clenched raw throat prohibiting him from doing so. Pressing his forehead even harder to the rough surface, he turned his eyes to observe his audience: Sanae stood at the mouth of the alley, holding back a distraught Neku. Silence reigned over them.

"Josh?" Neku was shocked at the other's outburst. Joshua recoiled with guilt for causing the ginger such worry. To the teen's eye, Mr H seemed wrongly tentative of Joshua; as if he were a bull waiting to charge. The dark haired man did what he thought was best: redirect the Composer's line of fire away from Neku. Joshua would never get over being cruel to his friend again.

"Breaking down again, eh?" Joshua clenched his aching fists as he swirled to face them fully. Pure sorrow blazed from the silverette's gaze.

"Do not harass with me! Do not hide behind that cool, hip attitude; it is a blatant lie!"

"That may be so but I hardly see where dropping my 'cool, hip attitude' as you put it, will get us. Crying and moping around will not solve anything."

"I know that!" He shrunk into himself. His hurt still raged but he daren't direct it toward any present party; for all hatred and agony was directed purely to himself. "Some Composer I am, I thought I was over this. He's gone; has been for many years." Neku doubted that his friend's outburst was a spontaneous thing; instead it had been an event that was likely to occur eventually – anguish pent up over many months or even years. Joshua kept his emotions hidden; even from himself. The silver haired boy folded his arms, a subconscious shield from the world around him. "I'm familiar with being ignored; I am accustomed to being discarded; I am used to being hated."

"You shouldn't have to be! You don't deserve to be." As the words left the ginger boy's mouth, his eyes widened; as if they were forbidden from being uttered; which in a way they were. Those words opposed everything that was routine for the pair of them: witty repartee and camaraderie. Instead these words opened the gates to the doubt and conflict harboured inside each of them.

"But alas I am." Joshua's voice was hollow, empty – the sound of loneliness.

"A fact I am truly sorry for; I regret not doing more in your youth to prevent it coming true." The silverette chuckled; Sanae didn't have regrets, this was all wrong. This couldn't happen – not now – not ever. All the same, it was happening and it was his obligation to fix whatever guilt the Producer had imposed on himself. It was the least he could do to repent for himself.

"Sanae, there is nothing more you could have done. You saved me when I needed saving, you came for me when I needed you; you stuck by me when no one else would. You did more than I ever imagined; more than I ever deserved. I am grateful for all that you have ever done for me. Please do not blame yourself for issues caused by my own hand."

"You did not cause this, Josh." How did he not cause it? Everything was Joshua's fault – his parent's hatred and the death of his original partner, Shibuya's decline, Sanae's regret, everything. Joshua was especially guilty of ruining Neku's life and for making himself an outcast that was trusted by no one, held dear by no one.

"I did, Neku. I was not good enough." A flare of fury wracked through Neku, his body visibly shaking with rage.

"Good enough for whom? You have always been so strong, stronger than anyone could ever comprehend and not because you're the Composer. I am so very proud of you. So who are you trying to please?" His voice trailed away, his tone softening almost pleading with the silverette.

"Myself. If I had been good enough then no one would have had to die."

"Your partner was always boasting about you, ya know." Joshua fell to his knees, the strength to stand having left him. His head hung low, his stance making it seem as if he were awaiting execution. "There is nothing you could have done. There is no way of knowing what would have happened under different circumstances so it is pointless considering them."

"Please Josh, forgive yourself." Soft words drifted from the ginger's hidden lips: "For my sake." Joshua doubted Neku even expected him to have heard. But he had. The teen slowly approached the other, kneeling in front of the silverette. He placed a hand on Joshua's trembling shoulder, the kneeling boy's body swaying as it tried to stay upright.

"Believe me dear, I am trying. I do not enjoy putting you through this misery but seeing you only fuels my hatred further. I cannot find it in me to forgive myself." The mop of shimmering silver hair jostled as silent sobs shook his body. No tears could be seen but the sadness clawed at Joshua's insides and pricked his eyes.

"Then boss, I have failed." Sanae, whose presence had been forgotten by Neku for a moment, advanced slightly as the ginger went to wrap his arms around the shuddering slender form of the other. Sanae shook his head at Neku – Josh had to let out what was choking himself up, they had to listen. "I made a promise, on that first night." By 'that first night' the man clearly meant when he first saw Joshua a wreck. The silverette had been about ten at the time; Mr H had been closing up the café after a rare day of open business. While locking the door he found Joshua curled up in a pool of his own blood; crying. The night hadn't been nice for either of them but it brought them closer and almost forced Joshua to open up more. "Seeing you like that eradicated in my mind any thought that you could be in any way, bad. You could never be the malicious guy they depict you as. You are not the conniving bastard they call you. You were – are – scared, lonely and forever in pain. I see it in your eyes to this very day. Back then, I promised myself that I would do anything to help you forgive yourself; even at the cost of my own life. I promised that I would save you and if not, I could never forgive myself. I am sorry, boss." Neku shuddered as his body was torn with emotion. Joshua on the other hand was completely immobilised by the man's words - confused as to why Sanae would want to help someone like him. Why he would then turn his back on him, inflicting more pain. He was humbled that his Producer cared about him so much to notice so accurately how he felt; but this scared him. Regardless of past events and intentions, the silverette was in tatters. The scene of Joshua falling apart, made Neku pull himself together. At last the amethyst eyes the ginger knew so well glanced up at him as Joshua lifted his head once more.

"Would it be wrong of me to ask for a hug, dear?" Bristling at the nickname, he grinned somewhat tentatively.

"No Josh, it wouldn't." The silverette slumped forward, almost falling onto the smaller boy. Strong warm arms wound around Joshua, protecting him from the conflict both external and internal. He returned the embrace, feeling the other relax under his touch. The silverette's head fit snugly in the space between Neku's shoulder and neck. It should have felt wrong. It should have felt claustrophobic. But it didn't – for the first time in Joshua's memory, he felt safe. They rose silently, turning back toward the way they had come. Sanae joined them as they strolled toward the cafe.

"Boss."

"Yes, Sanae?" Joshua's tone was apologetic: it had just hit him that his Producer and Neku had seen the whole ordeal. He almost wished he could have maintained a little more composure.

"What did you want me to do with this?" It was then they realised the fairy was still in his grasp – it had likely been there the whole time. Joshua laughed, his chest feeling lighter than before. His past was a burden he would bear forever, but perhaps it wasn't a load that he needed to shoulder alone. He'd tell the world what happened…when he was ready.

* * *

**The fairy mentioned earlier, I have that. I t was a gift from my Nan when I was little. I get her out every year. Nostalgia at its best. **


	6. Day 6: This Wonderful Mess We've Made

**Author's Note: Hey, Guys. So, as promised, here's the next chapter. It really feels weird updating on time but I did promise. This chapter happens on christmas eve and probably best reflects _my_ christmas: every christmas eve my Mum, sister/s and I cook so much food that we are sick of it. Family coming around is a pain but its part of the holiday. The final part of the chapter is really important to me; my sister and I shared a room up until last year and most nights we would lay in bed and just talk. These are some of my fondest memories. I hope you enjoy. ^_^**

**Disclaimer: I am no genius so I do not own The World Ends With You**

* * *

Pots and pans clattered together; cupboard doors banged as their contents were rummaged through. It was Christmas Eve: preparations for the next day were fully under way.

"Honestly, dear." Neku sheepishly laughed, scratching the back of his neck. Joshua looked down at his now soiled shirt, cursing the very existence of Christmas and cooking and flour. He shook his head; he would have to endure it. There was no point in changing since he'd likely only get another shirt messy. They were in the process of making a cake to give to Kariya and Uzuki as a present – Joshua had no idea what to get them, so cake it was. The Reapers deserved a little thank you, especially after the tiresome year they'd had. Neku reached over to grab the eggs, knocking his spoon onto the floor in the process. Joshua, who was in the middle of weighing out the sugar, made no move to retrieve the utensil. "I think you dropped something, Neku." The ginger looked down, spotting the spoon.

"Oh, thanks. Don't bother getting it for me." A giggle was all he was offered in reply. He replaced the egg into the carton and bent down to pick up what he had dropped. A low whistle and a chuckle escaped the silverette as he took in the teen before him.

"Now this is a view I could get used to." Instantly, Neku stood up straight and whipped around to hide his behind.

"Josh!" A snide smirk graced the silverette's lips as he giggled.

"What, just because you've seen me bare my deepest sorrow, doesn't mean I can't appreciate a really rather lovely behind." His voice was playful, a tone that had not been heard from Joshua in a long time. "Anyway, it's your fault for presenting yourself to me. It's as if you wanted me to look." Neku blushed furiously as he rubbed his eyes. He was glad Josh felt good enough to joke about again but why did it always have to be at his expense?

"I really thought you were making progress." Joshua nudged the other, leaning in to whisper in the ginger teen's ear - his breath ghosting on the shell of the other's ear and their neck.

"You love it really." Darting away, Neku attempted to cover up how he blushed deeply and how goose bumps rose on his skin. "Neku; do you have something against my wardrobe choices?" Looking down, he realised he had knocked over the bag of flour in his haste. A large quantity of the bag had emptied itself onto Joshua, clinging to the fabric resiliently.

"Well that's what you get for wearing white, plus that shirt must be expensive knowing your taste. It's your own fault." The silverette sneered as he began to flap his shirt in an attempt to dislodge the pesky powder. The action did little to save his shirt but it did make Neku's knees feel weak at the glimpse of the few inches of previously covered, porcelain skin of Joshua's stomach. The ginger turned away, hoping to distract his mind with the cake making. Such was not accomplished. As he picked up an egg once more, in the corner of his gaze he saw Joshua – who had grown tired with the dirtied shirt. He had grabbed a damp cloth and begun to wash at the fabric, resulting in the flour sticking more and the material turning translucent; teasing the teen with a glimpse of what lie behind. Neku stuttered, his face burned with a blush and his limbs turned to jelly; which is why one arm decided to spurt out to try and stabilise himself. He only succeeded in tipping the carton of eggs, sending the contents flying through the air. Where did the eggs end up? Why, on Joshua's shirt of course. Three eggs collided, rather harshly, with the silverette's front. A groan escaped Joshua as he was hit, he groaned again upon seeing the state of his shirt. "Are you actually serious, Neku?" The ginger teen attempted to conceal his chuckles, he really did but he couldn't help laughing at the sight of serene, pristine Joshua coated in layers of muck.

"I'm so sorry, I'm so, so sorry."

"Saying that while laughing rather retracts from the sincerity, dear." Neku folded over himself, clutching his stomach as laughter robbed him of breath. Joshua sighed, pulling at the sticky, slimy, eggy shirt. "Well then, I can't stay in this anymore. It is excessively acrid." Shrugging off the garment, the silverette threw it in the sink in an attempt to wash it. Neku averted his gaze, stepping over to the doorway where his blue, J of the M jacket was strung up. He picked it up and extended it in Joshua's general direction, eyes still glued to the floor.

"Here, put this on or you'll get cold." Joshua noted the other's avoidance of eye contact; curiosity and apprehension rose within him. Was Neku looking away from embarrassment of because the thought of looking at Joshua was repulsive?

"Why thank you, you're so very chivalrous - a modern day knight in shining armour." He took the jacket and pulled it on; alerting the other that it was safe to look once more as he resumed washing his shirt.

"How come you're being so flirty again?" He shrugged, not realising he had been particularly forward at all.

"I thought I'd have a little fun, I've been moping around a lot lately." He felt comfortable with the other which meant he never overly considered the way he acted or spoke. Perhaps that was why conflict had always run alongside their relationship, even before Neku became aware of the silverette's participation in his death. "I'm not reverting back if that's what you're afraid of. It's actually the opposite." Joshua glanced over his shoulder, briefly making eye contact with the other who donned a smile that made the silverette's heart flutter.

"Good, it's nice to have you back. I know I keep saying that but it's true."

"It's nice to be back." And it was. It was so very nice to be back. He felt like he was getting better. He still didn't understand how or why Neku was so forgiving of him – he would never have given himself another chance were in he in Neku's position. But the fact was: he wasn't Neku. Behind him, the ginger had finished mixing the ingredients together and poured the mixture into the awaiting tin.

"Cake's ready to go in." With a flourish of unnecessary grandeur, Neku placed the bowl and utensils down, almost knocking the cake onto the floor in the process. A diffident, humourless chuckle escaped as he wondered just why he was being so clumsy. He usually wasn't very cack-handed. That was until he looked up and saw Joshua stood right in front of him, facing him with the jacket unzipped, skin exposed. His eyes widened, his mouth was dry and he didn't know where to look. Joshua on the contrary, was finding the ordeal quite hilarious. The unsettled teen was floundering around in an endearing act of nervousness that made the silverette release a genuine laugh. He took the cake from the counter and inserted it into the oven, shutting the door with a bump of his hips.

"Neku, be a dear and clean up for me will you. I need to get this dry or I'll have to stay in your lovely warm jacket all day." He didn't wait for an answer; he wrung out the now scrubbed garment. "Not that you would mind, would you?" As he walked past the still blushing teen, he swatted at Neku's bottom. The action elicited a shriek from the teen as he tripped and fell to the floor, grappling for something to hold on to. Joshua wrapped his arms around Neku's slender hips, stopping him before he hit the ground. "You don't waste time in falling for someone, do you?" Neku's hands had ended up resting against the pale skin of Joshua's chest. Blue eyes daren't leave the purple ones above him, for he knew to look would open the door to more flailing and misfortune. No matter how much he wanted to look. The silverette gently righted the humiliated Neku and trotted upstairs. As he left, he heard a soft reply that he was certain the ginger did not expect him to hear:

"You have no idea."

* * *

Once the cleaning was done, Neku threw himself down onto the sofa in WildKat's back room. Who'd have thought Christmas could be so exhausting? Every other year, nothing would be different for him. No family, no friends, just the usual routine. He was glad that this year was different. He was glad that this year he could spend it with all of his friends. Soft padding of feet told him of Joshua's approach. He turned to greet the silverette but stopped when he took in the other's appearance. Joshua's shirt had still been wet so he had opted to throw on what he generally wore to bed: a large oversized version of the crisp white shirt he often wore. It was only Neku who would see him so he didn't care about looking slovenly. He loved how the sleeves hung past his fingertips and the collar hung loose around his neck, it was airy and unrestricting. Slung over his shoulders, was Neku's jacket. It was unbearably warm and comfortable, so much so that he almost didn't want to part with it. He'd have to invest in his own, even if it was J of the M. He stifled a yawn as he settled next to the teen who looked rather unnerved.

"What's the matter, Neku?" Instead of replying, Neku began to grumble incoherently. All the silverette could make out were the words 'on purpose' and 'adorable'. Cocking his head, he looked at the other as he tried to make sense of the ramblings. "Sorry, I didn't catch that." His hair fell into his eyes slightly, he was used to it. Being the Composer of Shibuya: simpler than you'd think. Ensuring the stability of the planes: second nature. Keeping his hair out of his eyes: just impossible. Neku's eyes seemed to linger on a strand of hair that hung in the space between Joshua's eyes. Blowing it away, the silverette tried to push the nuisance from his face.

"Doesn't matter." Pouting, he made his eyes as wide as he could in the hopes of pulling off puppy eyes. Before him, the ginger teen seemed to come undone. Neku's face became dusted with a crimson hue that made him look very cute, in Joshua's mind. "Damn it, Josh. You're doing it on purpose, aren't you?" Joshua shrugged, looking away as he pulled his knees to his chest. He clutched the jacket closer around him as Neku regained his composure. A chuckle came from next to him. "I think I regret giving you that jacket, I doubt I'll get it back now."

"You can have it back; I wouldn't want my lovely Neku to catch a cold." He pondered the thought a moment, bringing a finger to his lips as he considered. "Not unless you'd let me take care of you, of course." He peeped through his hair up at Neku, imploring for his acceptance.

"I'd rather not get sick but I'm sure you'd make sure I was alright if I did catch something." Nodding enthusiastically, he grinned. Placing his chin on his knees, he wrapped his arms around his legs. A yawn escaped from his lips and his eye lids began to droop; sleep peeping at the edges of his vision. "Sleep, Josh. Don't stay awake for my sake." Groaning, he couldn't resist letting his eyes fall closed. An arm encircled his shoulders, pulling him to rest on a firm chest.

"I don't want to. It's worse when I sleep." Fingers sifted through his hair, lulling a coo from his parted lips. He was so comfortable, he felt as if he could sleep for years.

"What is?"

"The guilt, the memories: all of it." Neku halted in his ministrations instead laying his hand atop the silvery hair, causing Joshua to whine internally. The silverette felt the other's chest shift as if he were about to speak but Sanae's head popped around the door frame, essentially halting the conversation. The usually calm man's face appeared slightly flustered, which was rather discomforting.

"Just a heads up…" A figure pushed past the Barista.

"Neku Sakuraba, so this is where you've skulked off to." Whoever it was had an instant effect on Neku, who tensed up and shuffled as far away from Joshua as he could.

"M-Mum, what are you doing here? I thought you were away at a conference?" The silverette sat up from where his body had fallen onto the sofa after having been shoved off. He took in the person in front of him: the woman was tall, thin and long orange hair fell around her pale face. Overall, she was rather plain but undoubtedly Neku's Mother. Joshua curled in on himself, regretting his choice to wear such unkempt attire.

"I leave tomorrow morning, I thought my son would be home to look after me when I get back from a long day's work but no. Where is he? He's cuddling up with his scruffy girlfriend, which by the way I never permitted." The ginger teen and the silverette shared a bemused look; Joshua was sure that – had both of them not been slightly terrified – they would have laughed at the situation. Neku because his Mum thought Joshua was a girl and Joshua because Neku was strikingly similar to his Mother, which he doubted the other realised. "Your Father will have to hear about this." As if on cue, the door to the café swung open and footsteps approached them. What Joshua supposed was Neku's Father stepped into the room that was fast becoming cramped.

"Honey, don't cause trouble." Frowning, the woman pursed her lips, clearly disappointed that her husband did not share her animosity. Pushing his light brown hair from his deep blue eyes, Neku's Father placed a hand on his wife's shoulder in an attempt to calm her.

"We work long hours; the least he could do is have meals ready and keep the house clean. But instead…"

"The house is clean; my dear, spotless in fact." A relieved glance to the teen showed that Neku's Father had sat through his wife's rant prior to coming to the café. "Leave him be, I think it's good that he has a girlfriend - and a very pretty one at that." Neku groaned, from embarrassment or annoyance Joshua was not sure. In actual fact, Joshua himself felt a little unhinged by the situation: did he really look that much like a girl? He wasn't sure how that fact made him feel. Neku's Mother scoffed, shoving her nose in the air. "I'm sorry, where are my manners? My name is Yukine Sakuraba, Neku's Father." He held out a hand for Joshua to shake, which he did. A worried look crossed Neku's eyes; his father was hospitable now but that all might change if he found out Joshua was a boy. Simply because of the compromising position they had been found in. The silverette cursed himself for getting them into the situation they were now struggling through.

"My name is Yoshiya Kiryu but people call me Yoshi; it's nice to meet you." Raising his voice a few octaves made the transformation from male to female all the more believable. Yukine then extended a hand to Mr H who shook it.

"Sanae Hanekoma, I run the café and I'm Yoshi's guardian." Neku's Mother stepped begrudgingly forward, offering her hand to Mr H.

"Chihiro Sakuraba, nice to meet you." Shaking hands swiftly, Chihiro sighed before extending a hand for Joshua to shake. He did so, his grip firm yet still dainty.

"Why don't we go out front, dear? Mr Hanekoma, would you mind making us a drink, I'm dying for a cup of coffee."

"Sure, I'll be out in a sec'." Ushering his wife out into the front of the café, Yukine left the room so that only the two teens and Mr H remained.

"Thanks for the warning, Sanae."

"I gave you a heads up, what more do ya want?" The barista snickered at the pouting silver haired boy. "So boss, is there something you want to tell me - about being Phones' girlfriend?"

"Shut up, Mr H." With that, the teen exited the room as ready as he'd ever be to face the onslaught of his parents.

* * *

Once they had their drinks the group sat down in one of the booths that lined the café - Chihiro and Yukine opposite Joshua and Neku, who took a seat next to the silverette. "So Yoshi, how did Neku meet such a lovely girl as you?" The silverette fiddled with his hair, rather unnerved by the older man's flirting. Was he 'pretty'? Sure, his hair shimmered a little in the right light. He had pale skin with delicate, graceful hands – slim, feminine features – girlish curves as well. Okay, he saw why they confused him for a girl but he wouldn't say he was 'pretty'. Pondering which of their many meetings he should recount for Neku's parents, he settled on being as close to the truth as he could.

"We met a few months ago, at Hachiko. Neku was looking for his friends after they got separated and I was only too happy to help. We had actually met a few weeks previous at Udagawa but he didn't remember me." He pouted playfully at the ginger teen, silently asking with his eyes if what he was saying was okay.

"How could he not remember someone as distinct as you?" Joshua raised an eyebrow at Chihiro, why was she being so judgemental? It was obvious that 'distinct' was not the word she meant. Neku swiftly interrupted as he rubbed bashfully at the back of his neck.

"It wasn't intentional believe me." Joshua giggled at the real meaning of the other's words. "We ended up hanging out for a while afterwards. She was definitely not the easiest person to get along with; a real pain actually. She was fixated on embarrassing me; we may share the same mind-set but she was more extroverted than me." Joshua turned to face Neku again and folded his arms, smirking whilst flipping his hair out of his face.

"But you seemed to be having so much fun, dear." Neku rolled his eyes at Joshua's antics, urging a smile to form on the silverette's lips. Chihiro looked on the brink of growling at Joshua, everything about her screaming hostility.

"Why are you talking in past tense, son?" Yukine looked between the two teens, looking a little lost. Joshua took a sip of his tea, relishing in its warmth.

"Because she's not like that now." The ginger boy reached over to pat Joshua on the head in comforting not condescending manner.

"Why did you put up with her? She's definitely not your type, Neku." Neku chuckled – his Mother was quite accurate there. He sipped his coffee before answering:

"She's actually really fun to be around, even when she's being facetious." He attempted to keep pushing the story onward, in the hopes of dodging conflict. "She went away for a while, I have no idea where to, but when she came back I was so relieved to see her. We hadn't left on the best of terms." Joshua gave a humourless chuckle, his eyes downcast as he remembered his departure at Pork City.

"That is rather an understatement. I'm sorry to say our relationship has been rocky since the start. Once we reunited later on, it was only for a short while before I had to leave again. Or so I told Neku originally, in actual fact I was trying to remove myself from his life in the hopes of him finding someone better for himself. Someone more worthy of him." He could almost feel the gazes burning into him. He wanted to curl up and hide, or apologise for all that he did, or just do something to relieve the torrent of emotion welling up within him.

"But it didn't turn out that way did it, Yoshi."

"No, it didn't." Neku wrapped his arm around the silverette's shoulders, pulling him close. Surprisingly, there was no rebuke from any other present party – not even Neku's Mother.

"A few days ago, we ended up bumping into each other again and we rekindled what we had." The ginger teen glanced into the other's violet eyes; up close they were all different shades of purple - two flawless amethysts sparkling in the dim light. They held an air of wisdom and knowing, as if those eyes had seen everything there was to see in the world: good and bad. "I couldn't stand life without you." Staring into Neku's eyes, all the pent up anguish within Joshua felt lighter, as if just knowing that the other cared was enough to make his existence manageable.

"There was no life without you, dear." A rueful frown dusted Joshua's pale features, the ghosts of loneliness dancing in his mind, mocking his every breath. Never would he repay the kindness extended to him by the wondrous soul that was Neku Sakuraba. Forever would they walk opposite paths; his in the dark, shrouded in deceit and hatred whilst Neku walked in the light, surrounded in laughter and potential.

"That's a lot to have gone through, how come we never heard about any of this, Neku?" Sensing the unuttered replies that oozed from the ginger's reluctance, Joshua laced his fingers with the hand that hung over his shoulder. The true answer was clear yet neither dare say it.

"I never had the words, I suppose." No one ever has the words to truly say how things are, Joshua thought. Understanding was not an easy thing to find. Sanae plodded into the main room, having been dabbling in the back. A confused look took over the man's features as he scrunched his nose.

"Does anyone else smell that?" Now that he mentioned it, there was a distinct burning smell. Joshua frowned up at the ginger teen beside him.

"Neku, do you think…." Neku sniffed at the air warily.

"Didn't we take it out?" Joshua bit his lip, trying to remember.

"No, I don't think we did." Their eyes widened. They scrambled to their feet, running to the kitchen.

"The cake!"

* * *

"Well dear, that was definitely an eventful day." Flopping himself down onto the bed, he let himself relax. They were currently in the room Joshua had been staying in while he resided at WildKat; it was on the second floor of the building and contained not much other than the comfortable single bed and a small wardrobe. Neku shoved him closer to the wall, lying down beside the silverette.

"You can say that again."

"Well dear, that was definitely an eventful day." A sigh left the ginger teen as he poked Joshua in the side. Giggling in response, the silverette rolled over so that he faced the other. "At least the cake was salvageable, after all the work and mess we went through to make it." His voice becoming suddenly serious, he pursed his lips worryingly. "I didn't do anything that will cause you trouble, did I?" Blue eyes met his gaze as the other shook their head. "Good. By the way, your Mother really doesn't like me." Neku laughed as he pointed an incredulous look at Joshua.

"I noticed." The silverette smirked, reaching over to twirl a strand of the other's hair around his finger.

"Can you blame her though? Under the impression her sweet, darling, innocent child still remains completely ignorant to the world around him." Sighing for effect, he patted the other's cheek as if to say how incorrect the idea was.

"Only to walk in and see him being molested by the universe's biggest voyeuristic pervert." He pouted, hitting Neku lightly on the shoulder.

"I will have you know, I am not a pervert. Voyeuristic, perhaps, but I am not a pervert." Wagging his finger, he used it to emphasise his point.

"Whatever you say, Josh." Not that Neku believed him at all. "Or should I say, Yoshi."

"What can I say, I'm just too beautiful. She would be lucky to have me as a daughter-in-law. Imagine the children, dear. They would be so cute." Neku rolled his eyes, shoving Joshua again. Both erupted in a fit of laughs. "Though personally, Neku, I think you'd be the woman of the relationship." Now the silverette was full on shoved against the wall behind him, still laughing. Gradually their laughter died down, the mood turning much more serious. Staring at the blanket between them, Joshua willed his voice to remain even as he spoke. "Did you mean what you said to your parents?" Neku cocked his head, wondering what part the other was referencing. Realisation set in and he sifted his fingers through the silken silver locks.

"Of course I did, I'm not like you. When I say something, I mean it." He had meant it as a joke but the other retreated into himself a little more, his knees rising closer to his body as he tried to huddle in on himself. "Sorry, that was mean."

"No, you're right. Why would any of my words mean anything when my tongue has laced naught but lies for many years?" A hand gently lifted Joshua's chin, forcing him to make eye contact.

"The fact that you can admit that shows how wrong it is." The silverette shook his head free of the other's grasp, tucking his chin down.

"Neku, I shouldn't be here. I have robbed enough from you already." Fingers returned to drifting through the soft silver hair as Neku's eyes strained with longing.

"And now you're paying me back for that, by being my friend." Caressing Joshua's cheek, the silverette plucked up the courage to look back into his eyes. "If you really want to repay me for betraying my trust and killing me, then show me that you care. Let me trust you and don't break that trust. Don't leave me else you'd have killed me again." Tears pricked at Joshua's eyes, threatening to spill over. He nodded nonetheless, if that was what Neku wanted then he would oblige.

"I'm sorry, Neku." Bawling up his hands, he pawed at his eyes to banish the traitorous tears.

"Whatever for?" The silverette lost the ability to speak, shaking his head and burying it in the other's shoulder. "Come here, silly." Coaxing the silverette closer, the ginger teen cocooned the other in his arms. Holding him close, Neku crooned in Joshua's ear lulling him closer to peace.

"Neku, why do I hurt everyone? Why am I unable to get close to people without causing them pain?" Arms stiffening, Neku stared wide eyed down at the silver haired boy.

"What are you talking about? That's not true."

"It is." Gripping Neku's shirt in an iron grip, Joshua stared at his hands as he remembered the atrocities they had committed. "My parents wanted only the best; everything I did that I thought would make them happy made them looked so disappointed. They never looked at me like a son, only a disgrace, and a burden. They locked me away, as if they could contain the disease that was me." He laughed a masochistic laugh, which sent chills down Neku's spine at the shear sorrow that twinned through the sound. "If only they could." Joshua's breathing was becoming ragged, his shoulders shaking with the emotion that tried to burst free of his lithe form. "I had a partner in the Game, even though I was still alive. I thought I could help him, help him live again. But I got him killed. I let him down. I lived while he did not." His voice was a feral growl of self-contempt, all snarls and fear and hate. "Not that I lived for long. I was running, I was running just to get away. I couldn't stay, not when I caused such pain. But then the car came. It skidded in the snow. It came at me and…." He cut off, unable to finish. Not that he needed to. "I don't know why I ended up being Composer. My rage and short comings fuelling a quarrel I had no chance of winning under normal circumstances - my predecessor was tired of the job so he practically handed me the title. A choice the Higher Ups did not appreciate. My soul apparently tainted thus unfit. Shibuya's decline was more than partly my fault. Megumi's gone thanks to me. I've caused Sanae so much trouble over the years. And you…" His throat jammed, preventing him of speech, the horrors too terrible. Pressing his head to his hands, he begged Neku for forgiveness. "I'm so sorry, Neku." Warm streams of salty tears ran down his cheeks, his lips trembled as his face contorted. Voices screamed in his mind; replaying the suffering and awfulness caused by his very existence. Neku had been too stunned to move or speak while Josh poured his heart out - he rested his chin atop the mop of silver hair as he clutched the sobbing boy to him.

"Listen to me, Josh. All of that was in the past, it cannot be changed. But what can be changed is what you do tomorrow or right now. So, are you ever going to hurt people again?" Joshua shook his head, however doubtful he was, he wanted to not hurt people but it just kept happening. He didn't know how to stop. "Then everything will be okay. As I said: just be my friend and I'll forgive you. Stay with me and everything will be forgotten." Oh how Joshua wanted to believe that, how he wanted to think that it was that easy. But it wasn't. He pulled away, ready to tell Neku how ridiculous the notion was but then he caught a glimpse of the ginger's face. He was crying. Blue eyes were misted, blurred by a flurry of tears – the very image that haunted the silverette's mind as he slept. He'd done it again. He'd hurt the one he held most dear. Squirming, he attempted to leave but he was too caught in the net of Neku's limbs to go anywhere. "Don't go. I'm sorry that I'm crying but I can't lose you again." He was crying because he didn't want Joshua to leave? But that wasn't right. He couldn't want him to stay. It was wrong. Looking into the eyes of such a vivid blue, he lay back down and rested his head on the other's shoulder. He'd stay; no matter how wrong it was because where's the fun in always being right.


	7. Day 7: Once Upon a Snowfall

**Author's Note: Hey, Guys. So here we, at the final day. I'm sorry for how inconsistent I've been with the updates - especially this one - I just really wanted to get it right. I want to thank everyone who has taken the time to read, review, follow and like this story. You guys rock! Originally this wasn't going to be a romance but it ended up being one. Im sorry if anyone is annoyed by that but it's what felt right to me.**

**So this is actually pretty much my Christmas from 2015 put into words. It gets quite existential but hey what's new? XD The rendition of 'The Twelve Days of Christmas' at the end is what inspired this tale. It came to me in a dream two years ago and now here we are. I could go into each tiny detail about parts of this that are close to me but I'll just let you all figure them out yourselves. I hope you all loved Christmas and continue to do so as I do. Happy Valentine's day too! I'm going to miss this. My first multi-chaptered story, even of they are sort of one-shots.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The World Ends With You.**

* * *

His eyes burst open. Breathing haggard, limbs shaking, tears spilling. Why? Why could he only hurt and destroy? Why was he so detestable? Why hadn't he been strong enough to save those he loved? Why was he still so pathetic? He sat up, pulling his legs to his chest, balling his hands, he clutched his head. He was weak, useless, pathetic, worthless. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Josh?" His head snapped to his right - Neku scowled sleepily back at him. He panicked: he'd just had a nightmare in front of Neku, he was crying in front of the ginger teen again, he was showing weakness again. Instincts kicking in, he scrambled from the bed. Landing with a thump, he attempted to retreat from the room. A hand grabbed his wrist, stopping him. "Josh, calm down." He couldn't reply; unshed tears and restrained sobs robbed him of speech. He allowed the hand to lead him back to the bed where he promptly sat and curled up on his side facing away from the other. Neku pulled the blanket up over them both. "Talk." He shook his head. He couldn't, wouldn't tell. It was his fault, he was too weak. "I said talk, Joshua." Scrunching up his eyes he shook his head. A sigh came from behind him as his face was pulled to the side. Deep blue eyes were a matter of inches from his own - their breath mingled. The silverette found himself melt under the intense gaze until he could bear it no longer. He turned, burying his head in Neku's shoulder and allowed himself to cry. For a moment, the other became rigid, clearly shocked. Tentatively, warm arms encircled him, holding him close. "Let it out, I've got you" was all that was said, the other opting to silently hold the silverette. It wasn't healthy to hold back. Joshua shook as his pain reverberated through his body, taking control and flooding free. Heart heavy, he felt compelled to make his hatred airborne if only to escape it quicker, he muttered:

"It's my fault. It's my fault. I'm sorry." Sobs punctuated his words, a cruel juncture of pure emotion. "Too weak. Pathetic. Unworthy. My fault." Subconsciously, Neku's grip on him tightened though he didn't reply. He allowed the silverette to let out his frustration before addressing the issue. And eventually, his sobs did die down.

"You alright now?" He nodded, trying to squirm out of the arms around him, inhibitions having returned. Neku didn't let him go. "Listen to me now." Joshua stilled, eyes widening slightly in apprehension. His face was still laid on the other's shoulder, making it impossible for him to see the ginger teen's face. "You have done nothing wrong. Whoever you lost, it is not your fault. Yes, you may have made some mistakes and done some bad things but it's ok. No one blames you." Neku ran his fingers through silver hair as he glanced down at Joshua. "Do I blame you, do I let myself become weighed down and constrained by the past? Fucking, of course not. Then I'll never see the reality right here in my arms. Being caught in the past makes the mind heavy and the heart dull. Leave the past behind, else you'll make the same mistakes again." He hated seeing Joshua break down. The teen had always been so upbeat, full of confidence that even Neku had been in awe of him at times. Seeing him fall apart reminded the ginger of how cruel the world was. It reminded him of how fragile people were, how fragile he was too. "I won't promise you everything will be alright, because it won't. Bad things are going to happen and we all do things we regret; there's no avoiding that. But I will promise you that you will never be alone. You will never be alone again, I'll make sure of it. Even if it means I have to put a tracer on you for that to happen." Having nothing else to say, he slackened his grip a little; giving Joshua the chance to leave, should he wish to. But he didn't, instead he nestled closer to the ginger haired teen.

"Thank you, for not blaming me. I don't think you'll have to resort to tracking me." He chuckled humourlessly to himself.

"I can't say forgive yourself now, because nothing is ever that easy." Joshua didn't doubt that. "Let's get back to sleep, I won't have you lazing around all day." A lazy smile drifted on the silverette's lips as his eyes closed.

"Yes, dear." The ginger rolled his eyes, almost envious of the other's ability to fall straight to sleep. But as he laid his head down, he found sleep wasn't as difficult to find after all.

* * *

"Josh?" A pause, "Josh, are you awake?" Deft appendages dug into his shoulder. "Josh?" The poking persisted; becoming more insistent. He groaned, swatting lazily at the nuisance. "Josh, I know you're awake." Growling, he covered his eyes with his arm.

"That's because you're waking me up."

"Then you are awake." Of course he was, Neku was making it impossible to sleep. "So get up, lazy."

"Neku, it is..." Leaning over to check the time on his phone, he furrowed his brow and threw the device onto the floor. "Four a.m! No Neku, go back to sleep." A whine escaped the other and as Joshua's groggy eyes drifted over to observe the teen, he noticed an eager spark in the blue eyes above him.

"Please, Josh?" Why couldn't he say no to those eyes? He was sure it would become a problem soon enough.

"Fine, I'm up anyway." A small yip of glee left the ginger teen as he burrowed himself further in Joshua's arms; the silverette only then noticing how they had unconsciously cuddled together as they slept. Neither mentioned the issues Neku dragged a bedraggled and lethargic Joshua out of bed and downstairs. "Neku, the stockings are on the door upstairs: why didn't you just open that before you woke me?"

"Because I want to share all of it with you." Joshua felt a warmth envelope his heart and a smile grow on his lips.

"Go get them and we'll open them down here." The teen promptly scuttled off to retrieve the stockings, that were only a prelude for the day to come. Making himself a cup of tea, Joshua felt the early morning chill seep through him. Any other day, it would feel frightening, taunting him the ghosts of his past. But today was Christmas Day; Neku was on his way down to him and they were going to have a day of joy and merriment. Never had the cold felt so fresh and soothing.

"Ok, Josh - here you are." Neku trotted in, garish oversized socks in his grasp. Both tartan stockings were bulging - courtesy of Sanae, no doubt. Though the Producer would never admit it, he was glad to finally be able to embrace and share the Christmas season. Joshua chuckled as he thought that Mr H would make a great parent. Both boys took a seat at the counter and unceremoniously tore into the gifts. Neku made the occasional 'ooh' and 'ah' and even a 'what the hell'; each response causing the silverette to look over and snigger. The ginger had been given: new pens for his artwork, a new sketchbook that was signed by Cat himself and various other appropriate items. Joshua could only roll his eyes at Sanae's attempts: a yo-yo, a pink toothbrush, a pair of neon reindeer socks, an artificial rainbow quill pen and a bag of chocolate coins. At the bottom of the stocking was a slip of paper that, had it not fallen out along side the toothbrush, he would have missed. On the paper, it read: 'You alone, cannot change the world. But that is what makes this world so beautiful.' Glancing at Neku, Joshua understood what the man wanted from him. It was Christmas, who knew what would happen.

* * *

Just after 7 o'clock, Sanae descended the stairs and immediately spotted the two teens asleep at the counter. That's what they get for getting up so early, he thought to himself. He went about making a mug of coffee for himself and a new cup of tea for Joshua - the one the silverette made having gone cold sitting forgotten beside him as he slept.

"Mr H, what time is it?" Neku pawed at his eyes to remove the sleep that lingered there. A chuckle left the dark haired man as he noted how the teen unconsciously draped his arm over Joshua's shoulders.

"Around seven; you want a drink, Phones?" Nodding, the ginger teen picked up one of his markers, leering at Joshua with evil intent in his eyes. "I wouldn't do that."

"It'll be worth it." Sighing, Mr H rolled his eyes: it was too early to cover up a murder.

"No, it won't. Leave him be, Josh has had enough trouble finding sleep without you vandalising him." Seemingly on agreement, Neku recapped and put down his pen. He took the cup of coffee the man had finished making him. "He really likes you, Phones. Despite all that's gone on."

"I know. I like him too, more so now than ever. Seeing him so vulnerable, like he has been - I know it sounds cruel - but it's been nice. Nice, in the sense that it's nice that I'm not the only one who has issues. Nice, that he trusts me enough to let me see that. Nice, that for once he seems real; reachable, not the untouchable god he always appeared to be." The barista shook his head; teenagers made everything so difficult. Not that anything about life was easy in the first place.

"Now see here, Phones. Joshua has issues, but who doesn't? Of course he trusts you, you're his Partner. But, I don't think he meant for you to see anything that you did; he just couldn't keep it in any longer. He may be the Composer, but he's still human, more so now than he has been for years. And that's because of you." Staring down into the brown liquid of his coffee, the dark haired man sighed. "Remember Phones, if you hurt him, you'll have me to answer to."

"Really, Sanae? I can look after myself." Joshua's head rolled to the side, the hair obscuring his eyes slipping aside.

"Can you, boss?" With a giggle, the silverette shrugged.

"In a manner of speaking." With a flick of his wrist, a familiar cold, metallic revolver appeared in his grip. "Remember this, Neku?" Eyes wide with shock and apprehension, the teen's blue eyes were fixated on the gun. He didn't move; memories of the last few times he'd seen the gun rushed through his mind. The first in Udagawa. Joshua: foreign, frightening and facetious. The second in the Room of Reckoning. This time, Joshua was serious, serene and sanctimonious. Dramatic change caused by simply knowing each other. Joshua had shot him on both occasions; both whilst manic and manipulative. Shifting his sight to the silverette, Neku saw the change this time was even more drastic. Gone was the callous cackle from the first instance, so too was the celestial conviction of the second. Joshua was nothing other than Josh: his friend. Closing his eyes, a breathy laugh seeped from his lips.

"You won't shoot me, Josh." He knocked the gun away casually as if brushing off a pesky irritation. He was met with no resistance as the barrel withdrew from his vicinity.

"What makes you so sure?" Meeting the other's purple gaze, Neku smiled and reached over to sift a hand through silvery locks. Soon a small smile grew on Joshua's lips, needing no real words to answer his question. "Alright, maybe I won't shoot you. But I can make life very difficult for you."

"You do that anyway." The boys began arguing in the companionable way the usually do as Mr H checked the time. Furrowing his brow, he chugged down the remnants of his coffee.

"What time did you say the others were coming over?" Neku looked over, head cocked in thought.

"Seven-thirty, what time is it now?" It was seven-twenty. Panicked, they gulped down their drinks. Choking on the dregs of his tea, Joshua sprinted upstairs, only a few paces ahead of Neku. He made a beeline for the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. "Damn, you Joshua." Thumping on the door, echoed through the building. Joshua only sniggered as he set about getting ready.

* * *

"Josh, have you seen my hair gel?" Dressed and ready, Joshua trotted into the bathroom where Neku was searching the cupboards. The teen was dressed but the room still clung to the humidity from his shower. As he stretched to see into the cupboards, Neku's shirt rose about two inches above it's usual height but to Joshua, Neku may well have been completely bare. The few centimetres of Neku's exposed skin was more tantalising than the acres of skin exposed by any enthusiast of D+B.

"No I haven't, dear." Neku closed the cupboard door and Joshua took a moment to take in the rare sight of the teen with his hair down. Free flowing in a soft halo around his head, the natural, un-styled hair made Neku look much younger and much less aggressive. "Couldn't you leave your hair down today, do it as a gift for me." An eyebrow raised in response, as if asking if Joshua was completely sane. Once more, the silverette made puppy eyes. He didn't expect them to work but the ginger dragged a hand through his gel-less hair and sighed.

"Fine, but you owe me. Now to attempt to brush this mop."

"I'll help." Blushing at his blatant eagerness, Joshua stuttered a little. Neku simply laughed, handing the brush to the silverette and sitting on the wash basket as means of a makeshift stool. Hyperventilating slightly, Joshua began gliding the brush through the ginger hair. There was the occasional knot but they quickly fell away - Joshua was almost jealous. "You're dressed fancy, well fancier than usual. You always dress fancy." The silverette looked down at himself: he wore a crisp red, button-up dress shirt that had gold cuffs, along with a pair of black dress pants with silver designs running up the outside of the leg. His feet were currently covered only with the neon socks he had been given but he was planning on putting on a pair of black loafers since his trainers were wet from the snow.

"I suppose I am. Don't you appreciate the effort I put into looking nice for you?" He saw Neku roll his eyes in the mirror, to which the silverette replied with a chuckle. Running the brush through the ginger tresses, he felt he had to ask: "Why would you spike up your hair when it's this lovely?" Neku chuckled, glancing at the other in the mirror.

"We're not all pretty boys like you, Josh." Joshua pouted as he pondered the statement. So many implications, so many possible meanings but one thing stood out: Neku thought he was pretty? "I spike it because I prefer it that way, it's out of my face and makes me look a bit more rough and ready. It makes people leave me alone." Looking into the mirror, he met the ginger's eye. Those beautiful crystalline eyes - what he wouldn't give to be looked at by those eyes; to truly be seen by this wondrous being and excepted for the cursed winged entity he was. Sorrow creeping up on him, he finished up his ministrations.

"Well, I think you're beautiful no matter what you do with your hair." He leant down and pressed a small kiss to the top of the teen's head before putting the brush down and making his way out into the hall. "You're welcome."

* * *

The time of reckoning was nigh. Congregated at the foot of the towering tinsel monstrosity, Rhyme and Beat as well as Shiki and Neku began distributing the purchased gifts. Mr H was preparing the dinner in the kitchen, grumbling about how the turkey would fit in the oven whether it wanted to or not. Joshua sat on a bar stool a few paces from the seated teens, feeling the need to give them some space in this most sacred of festivities. He felt so warmed by the whole day that he was practically purring. Sure, he still disliked Christmas and the hassle and pain that came with it, but so long as he could spend each and every one the same way, every one spent with the ones who made him feel human again, he could tolerate the season. Glancing at Neku, he felt a cunning smirk tug at his lips. Maybe it was the Christmas feeling or maybe it was the three whiskeys he'd had or maybe it was the knowledge that the ginger had seen his worst and still stood beside him; whatever it was, gave him the confidence to think of what it could be like if he courted Neku. He doubted it would be like the end of a fairytale when the pair live happily ever after, they were both too temperamental and their situation too conflictive for that to be possible. He hadn't read many trashy romance novels but hoped nothing like that ever happened, even on the off chance they did get together. Rolling his eyes, he wondered why he was comparing life to fiction, for they never really run parallel. Fiction was the symbolism and interpreted meaning of reality, feelings and experiences manipulated and conveyed into an understandable and openly relatable stream of events. But words, no matter how eloquent, can never replace or truly reflect reality. The word 'happy' does not convey how your pulse races and mind fixates and tongue slurs out anything it feels necessary regardless of the brain's intervention. The word 'hurt' does not iterate the coursing, rippling anguish or the pulsating, contorting hatred or the hollow, useless constricting sense harboured within. The word 'loneliness' could never come close to explaining how it feels to be hidden in plain sight, how it feels to scream and never be heard, how it feels to cry yourself to sleep every night knowing that with the next sunrise all that will come is more empty, deafening, unending silence.

"Joshua, what's the far off look for?" Slipping back to reality, he peered over and met Rhyme's gaze. The young girl had been very gracious for her gifts and was clearly enjoying herself. The fact made Joshua smile, Christmas was for the young after all.

"Nothing, I was just thinking." He was given an incredulous look from the girl but she did not retort. A groan came from Neku as he swatted at his hair, trying to fling it out of his face. Joshua laughed, knowing the ginger's plight all too well.

"Why's your hair not spiked, yo?"

"Yeah, I meant to ask you. Not that you don't look great, Neku." Blush dusting his cheeks, the teen avoided eye contact with those around him.

"I ran out of gel and Josh asked me to keep it down." Joshua was unable to prevent the smug look that grew on his face as Beat chortled and Rhyme giggled. Shiki simply rolled her eyes, Mr H took that moment to enter the room.

"You sure work fast, Boss. You've already got him whipped."

"He does not!" Face burning red, Neku leapt to his feet as he pointed an accusing finger at the barista. The ginger's outburst going ignored, Joshua shrugged; a coy grin toying on his lips.

"What can I say, I'm simply one deadly efficient Composer." Neku's face furrowed in anger or humiliation. He turned to scowl at the silverette.

"Are you delusional? I'm not whipped " Shiki pursed her lips as if weighing both arguments.

"I'm inclined to agree." Meeting Neku's eye, she could not hide her amusement. "With Joshua." Sinking to the ground once more, Neku buried his head in his hands.

"You wound me." A finger lifted his chin and he was faced with Joshua only a few inches away, breath dusting his face, warming him further.

"Come now, dear. This means you have access to perks that no other may experience."

"Like punching you in the face." Sensing the evil intent, Mr H took his cue to end the conversation.

"And with that, I shall announce that dinner is ready."

* * *

Seats were taken and feast assembled, it was time for the annual food-fest that was Christmas dinner. Shiki and Beat sat together opposite Rhyme and Neku, Joshua sat on Neku's other side with Sanae opposite him at the head of the table. A glass of grape juice was poured for those underage while Mr H and Joshua sipped at some Merlot. The fact that the silverette had been granted alcohol had been the source of great debate, especially with Beat who saw it as unjust and setting a bad example. Not that the objections stopped Joshua sipping at his wine, it was from his wine collection anyway.

"Merry Christmas, everyone!" Raising their glasses, they toasted to the meal with a chorus of: "Merry Christmas!" After drinking, they each dived into the food. Turkey took pride of place at the centre of the table with a number of condiments to accompany it: carrots, roast potatoes, cabbage, cauliflower, broccoli, sprouts - much to the distaste of many, leeks, sweet corn, peas, sage and onion stuffing, gravy, cranberry sauce, pigs in blankets (also known as bacon wrapped sausages) and Yorkshire pudding. It truly was a magnificent meal. Conversation hummed along the table; Rhyme laughing at one of Mr H's tales while Beat attempted to maintain a conversation with Shiki without stuttering or blushing. Joshua was beaming. Never had he thought any of this possible; he had always thought he would rot out his further existence in desolate solitude and yet here he was, surrounded by friends and having the most fun he had ever known.

"Josh, wanna pull this?" Confused, he looked over to the boy next to him: Neku held a cracker out to him, offering the end to him.

"I'd be honoured." Grabbing the cylindrical tube, he pulled. With a CRACK, the cracker split. Neku emerged victorious, rummaging through the tube to retrieve the thin, purple, paper hat that he placed proudly atop his brow. Neku had won a lot more than just a cracker that year, Joshua thought. He'd won a lot more than he potentially even knew. Also inside was a small figurine of an angel and a slip of paper containing the undoubtedly terrible joke. Holding up the figurine, the ginger teen scrutinised it then with a shrug, tucking it into his pocket.

"I think I prefer the real thing to a model one." Blushing slightly, Joshua shook his head as he rolled his eyes. Taking a sip of his drink, he gestured toward the forgotten joke. Begrudgingly, Neku picked up the paper and read it's inscription: "What are the most popular trousers at Christmas?" Bracing for the inevitable, Joshua shrugged.

"Lounge pants, pyjamas." He was unable to hide the light smirk that dusted his lips.

"Bell-bottoms." Unable to help himself, the silverette laughed as he covered his eyes. It was so bad that it was actually laughable. In the background other crackers went off, Beat grunting as he lost to Shiki then cheering as he won against Mr H. Rhyme donned a silver hat whilst Shiki's was green, Beat's was yellow and Mr H's was red. The only one uncrowned was Joshua and in that moment, he thought that things were as they should be; these people, these wonderful people, were all special and fantastic and worthy of more praise than any others. He was humbled in their presence.

"Joshua, would you like to join me?" The final cracker was extended toward the silverette by the unlikely party of Shiki Misaki. Bowing his head politely and smiling genuinely, he took ahold of the sparkle coated cracker. The CRACK announced Joshua's loss, the majority of the item presiding in the girl's grasp. "Here, merry Christmas." Handing over the bounty, Shiki smiled back at him. It was if there was no sourness remaining between them - only at Christmas could such a miracle occur. Retrieving the hat, he placed it on his head. It was a light fuchsia hue, the translucent material allowing the silvery colour of his hair to partly shine through. Reaching inside, he extracted the slip of paper. Clearing his throat in an overly dramatic manner, he recited the inevitably terrible gag.

"What did the Christmas tree excel at in school?" A series of shrugs came as his answer. "Needle point." Groans and face palms were elicited from the quality of comedic material only accepted at Christmas. Giggling slightly, he picked up the almost empty shell of the cracker. As he tipped out the contents, out fell a plastic ring. The band was a deep blue while the clear plastic gem on top refracted the light, as if capturing a rainbow within it. He rolled it in his palms for a moment before it was snatched from him.

"Well isn't this pretty, even if it is plastic. Shall I do the honours?" Before he could think to refuse, his pale hand was taken and the ring slid onto his second finger. Where engagement rings traditionally sat. Looking over into the other's blue eyes, he raised an eyebrow.

"You're quick to get me down the aisle, dear. You want to be my wife that badly, do you?" Now it was Neku's turn to blush and fluster. Around them the table erupted in laughter at the ginger teen's discomfort. Shiki raised her hand abruptly.

"I call maid of honour." Beat copied the action.

"Bagsy the best man, yo." Neku groaned, shoving his head in his hands.

"Why am I the wife, here?"

"Face it, Neku; you're just not a topper. I bet you couldn't even top Shiki." All eyes turned to stare wide eyed at Rhyme, who simply shrugged and continued digging in to her food.

"Girl has a point, Phones. You just aren't that dominant. There's nothing wrong with taking it..."

"Okay, can we just drop the subject. My ears are aching and I think I'm going to die."

"Don't exaggerate, dear. Besides, if we really did get married, it wouldn't be your ears that ached." Knowing any retort he attempted would be twisted to hinder him further, Neku retuned to his meal. A pale hand settled on his knee under the table. Meeting Joshua's eye, the silverette offered a smile that promised so much that Neku could hardly decipher it. Whatever lay ahead, he would welcome it all. Now all he had to do was tell him...

* * *

"Does anyone know where Neku is?" Everyone, par the ginger teen, was strewn on the floor of Wildkat - contentedly bloated after their hefty meal. Joshua had lie there for a large amount of time, plucking up the courage to talk to Neku. He needed to tell the teen how he felt, if only to know that he had aired his heart.

"He said he was going outside, apparently there was something he needed to do."

"I wonder what he's up to. I'm going to go check on him."Peeling himself from the floor, Joshua made his way outside. He found Neku fussing around with something that he couldn't quite see. Announcing his presence by clearing his throat made Neku jump around and conceal what he was doing.

"Joshua." Brow furrowed in confusion, Joshua tried peering around the teen. He dropped his gaze to the ground.

"I just came to see how you were." Worrying his fingers against the hem of his shirt, his eyes darted around as he looked anywhere except from into Neku's eyes. Joshua bit his lip, the impending catastrophe weighing heavy on his mind. He knew any attempt of humanity by himself was futile, though he was sick and tired of being left by the wayside.

"Josh, are you okay?" Neku stood with his hands behind his back. The ginger teen looked at Joshua with wide eyes. Bowing his head slightly, the silverette smiled a little.

"Of course, dear. Do I not look okay?" Pouting slightly, the smaller blond considered his reply.

"No, but you can never tell with you." Clutching his jacket closer to himself, the silverette frowned in a contemplative way. "You never let anyone see what you don't want them to." Joshua often wondered how Neku could see through him; it was an unnerving feeling, knowing that there was someone who could read him so easily, despite his best efforts. It was a fact that terrified the guarded boy. Upon noting the silver haired teen's pondering, Neku raised an eyebrow at him. In that look the silverette saw only the best intentions and omniscience, clearly the ginger teen wasn't as oblivious as many thought. Throwing no heed to his inhibitions, Joshua threw his arms around Neku, hugging the teen close. Taken aback by the contact, Neku froze a moment. Physical contact was not something he was used to, having come from a guarded, distant family. Apart from Beat and occasionally Shiki, he rarely was so close to another. Slowly he relaxed, wrapping his arms around the other. A chorus of sighs erupted; apparently the others had noticed the exchange.

"So cute!"

"Neku, looks like a crushing school girl!"

"Dude, it's about time!"

Joshua giggled as he stepped back. Mr h stepped up to them, smiling. He placed his hand on Neku's head, ruffling his hair in a supportive not condescending way. Grinning timidly, Neku's eyes suddenly grew wide.

"You might want to-" he was cut off by a large mass of snow flying through the air, smacking straight into the four stood in the doorway. "-move." Then they all turned to stare aghast at him. Behind him they spotted a contraption made of an old bike and various utensils, that served as a make shifter catapult. "Sorry, that was meant for Josh."

They shrugged and walked back inside grumbling. The whole thing made it seem as if they knew something that no one, not even Neku, knew - which left the ginger stumbling for thought. Joshua knew they had left to give him an opportunity. And he wasn't going to squander it.

"Neku, there is something I must say." Swallowing shallowly, he rubbed his fingertips together and his toes curled in his shoes. He was so nervous, so so nervous but he couldn't back down now. Dragging in breath, his words spilled out, tumbling together as he fought with his nerve to say them: "I've never really felt human. When I was alive, I could see things no one else could, I was an anomaly; unnatural. Then I was dead and almost cut off from reality. All I knew was the darkness of loss, the reluctance of compulsion and the loneliness of authority. I don't regret ending your life, for you have since become the soul star in the polluted skies surrounding me. I cannot fully convey nor comprehend how I feel, so I shall not attempt to fumble for words. The one thing I am certain of however, is that I cannot continue with the knowledge that I have not told you that I love you. I don't care if you don't reciprocate my feelings but I had to say it." Closing his eyes, he felt lighter as if a crushing burden had been lifted. "I love you, Neku Sakuraba." Now he could leave. He had to leave, lest Neku feel obliged to answer. He turned.

"Wait." His wrist was snagged. He stopped. "I can't string words into poetry like you, so I won't bother." What he did then was more powerful than any word in existence, Joshua thought that it was much more expressive yet bewildering too. Neku tugged on the wrist in his grasp, eliminating the distance between them. He lowered his lips and they met in a clash, for that was what they had always been: two rivalling sides looking to get one over the other. Opposing worlds, adjacent ideals, incomparable stories. But maybe that was why in that moment they clung to each other, as if nothing else truly existed outside of themselves. Warmth seethed through their bodies, breath twined and twisted together into a tender tornado in the chilly air. Salty drops slid down their cheeks, neither one knowing who had shed the tears - both savouring the promise within them. Drawing reluctantly apart, Neku's eyes were blurred, cloudy with the flurry of tears that robbed him of any words he could have conjured. Not that he needed them. With a soft smile and bat of glossy lashes, Joshua leant in to join their lips once more. They didn't need words, not when their meaning was so nondescript. They would make do with showing each other.

It was much more fun that way.

* * *

Gathered around the hearth, Joshua was positively glowing. He'd never felt more elated in all his (un)life. Mr h had gone to bed after one too many eggnog, Beat and Shiki were curled together on the sofa and Rhyme had taken Neku's temporary lodgings. He was bundled up under a blanket, watching the flames while he lay on the ginger teen's lap while fingers sifted through his wispy silver locks. "So Josh, was Christmas up to your standards?"

"Better than the other fifty I missed." The look of horror on. Neku's face made him laugh and push playfully at his shoulder. "I'm joking, I'm not that old. Don't bother asking my age dear, it's rude." Rolling over so he could gaze instead into deep blue eyes, he smiled as he thought of the past week. "Would you like to hear a song?" A shrug and encouraging smile came as his reply, so he began. "On the first day of Christmas; dear Neku gave to me: a chance to redeem myself." Already his eyes gleamed with sheer emotion. Looking back, it was hard to believe anything but fate had lead them back together. Whatever the reason, Joshua was glad. He doubted he would ever feel remotely as happy as he did right then, otherwise. "On the second day of Christmas; dear Neku gave to me: two special words and a chance to redeem myself." Those words had been so significant, so rare and special that they could have fuelled Joshua for a great many years. How lucky he was that now he had so much more than just words. He had hope.

"On the third day of Christmas; dear Neku gave to me: three new friends, two special words and a chance to redeem myself." The teens he now called friends were an inspiration to the rest of humanity, they were all that was right with the world.

"On the fourth day of Christmas; dear Neku gave to me: four marshmallows, three new friends, two special words and a chance to redeem myself." His sore back was a testament to that day; the day he nearly lost everything by running away.

"On the fifth day of Christmas; dear Neku gave to me: a great big hug, four marshmallows, three new friends, two special words and a chance to redeem myself." His lowest point. Neku had seen him crumpled, obliterated and useless. Yet he had stayed and pulled him back together; perhaps in time, the wounds would heal and he could forgive himself. But that was still a long ways off.

"On the sixth day of Christmas; dear Neku gave to me: a chance to be a lady, a great big hug, four marshmallows, three new friends, two special words and a chance to redeem myself." Neku pouted at the reminder. Meeting Neku's family had been an eye opener at how life could be and how Neku saw him. It had been belittling to be scrutinised so. His heart ached at the memory of Neku's tears that day, he had hated himself then and still did. Never would he let that happen again. Shifting so they laid down beside each other, Joshua watched Neku's eyes reluctantly flutter shut.

"On the seventh day of Christmas; dear Neku gave to me: a whole new life." Sighing as he smiled, cutting his verse short. The silver haired teen let his eyes flutter closed and welcomed sleep, knowing that when he awoke, he would find a new day and a new world. Part of him expected to wake up alone in the empty halls of the Room of Reckoning, but he couldn't find the heart to care as he cuddled close to the body beside him. He still hated himself, but that would probably never change. And whether he deserved it or not, this was what a happily ever after felt like. It was the best feeling in the world.

Once upon a time may be old, it may be obscene, it may be unbelievable. But beneath those exaggerated acts of chivalry and idealistic heroism, lies an undying and unwavering need to love. Why whisper what you can scream? Why frown when you can laugh? Why hide when you can live? Cliches exist for a reason, and what better time for a cliche romance than cliche Christmas?

The road is never easy, but each battle makes us who we are. Joshua finally understood that as he drifted off to sleep. For the first time in forever, he would not be woken by nightmarish memories. Instead he would greet the world with a smile on his lips and a glimmer of joy in his amethyst eyes.

And after that, they all lived happily ever after... well, sort of.


End file.
